Step 8 in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) reads, “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” While it can feel overwhelming, this step isn’t about making amends yet—it’s about identifying harm and becoming willing to repair it.
Creating an amends list is essential for those seeking freedom from guilt, shame, and unresolved burdens. Though challenging, it’s one of the most freeing experiences in recovery, preparing you for the promises of Step 9 and a future built on integrity.
In this article, we’ll guide you through building your 8th Step amends list with practical steps, sponsor advice, and spiritual tools. Whether you’re new to recovery or revisiting the 8th step, this process will help you face the past, clean up harm, and move forward with purpose.
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What is the 8th Step in AA and Other 12-Step Programs?
The 8th Step in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) reads: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” This step bridges the past and the future by addressing unresolved harm caused during active addiction. Unlike Step 9, which involves direct action through making amends, Step 8 focuses on identifying those we’ve hurt and developing the willingness to repair those relationships.
The purpose of Step 8 is to bring accountability into recovery. It’s not about punishing ourselves but about facing the truth with courage and honesty. Writing the list helps uncover patterns of behavior and clears the way for healing, both for ourselves and others. It’s a critical step in freeing ourselves from the guilt and shame that addiction creates, helping us rebuild trust and integrity as we move forward.
The beauty of Step 8 lies in its simplicity—it starts with just writing names. You don’t have to be ready to make amends yet; the only requirement for the first part of step 8 is a willingness to recognize the harm you caused.
Once you have made a thorough list, sharing your harm list with your sponsor, along with any reservations you have about making amends to any of the people in it, will help recognize any unwillingness that you have and address it before moving on. This step lays the groundwork for Step 9, where action takes place, and meaningful change begins.
Why the 8th Step Can Feel Overwhelming—And How to Overcome It
Many people find the 8th Step daunting, not because of the list itself, but because it stirs up fears about Step 9—actually making amends. The thought of facing those we’ve hurt can trigger anxiety, guilt, and self-doubt. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, worrying about how others will respond or if we’ll make things worse by confronting the past.
However, it’s important to remember that Step 8 isn’t about taking action just yet—it’s about preparation. This step gives us the opportunity to reflect and take an honest look at where harm was done without rushing into difficult conversations.
Shifting Your Mindset from Fear to Willingness
The key to overcoming fear in Step 8 lies in focusing on willingness rather than perfection. It’s not about getting it right the first time or finding immediate forgiveness from others—it’s about becoming willing to make things right, no matter the outcome.
Tips for Shifting Your Mindset
- Break it down into smaller steps: Focus first on just writing down names without overthinking the next step.
- Seek guidance from a sponsor: Talking through fears with someone who has experience can provide clarity and confidence.
- Pray for willingness: Ask God to help remove fear and replace it with the willingness needed to move forward.
- Remember, it’s a process: Many people revisit their 8th Step list multiple times during recovery, adding names as they grow.
By focusing on willingness and trusting the process, the weight of fear begins to lift. The 8th Step becomes a path to freedom, preparing you to take meaningful action in Step 9 when the time is right.
How to Write an 8th Step Amends List
Writing your 8th Step amends list is an essential act of self-reflection, helping you take stock of how your actions impacted others. It’s an opportunity to recognize patterns of behavior that caused harm, even if unintentionally, and begin preparing yourself mentally and spiritually for the next phase of healing.
This list serves as a map, guiding you toward the relationships and situations that need repair, fostering personal growth and deeper understanding along the way. Let’s explore the practical steps to build your list and ensure it reflects the areas of your life that need attention.
Who Belongs on My Step 8 Harms List?
The key to Step 8 is being inclusive—if you think you may have harmed someone, add them to the list. Avoid minimizing your actions or rationalizing away harm. It’s better to write too many names now and sort through them later with your sponsor than to risk overlooking someone who deserves amends.
8th Step Amends List Examples
| Category | Examples of Amends |
|---|---|
| Family & Loved Ones | Parents, siblings, or partners harmed emotionally, financially, or physically. |
| Employers & Coworkers | Jobs lost due to absenteeism, dishonesty, or poor performance affecting others. |
| Friends & Romantic Partners | Broken trust or emotional neglect due to addiction-related actions. |
| Institutions & Businesses | Theft, property damage, or unpaid debts owed to landlords, companies, or organizations. |
Some harm may be subtle but still significant. For example, ignoring loved ones’ calls while they feared for your safety or giving half-effort at work that shifted responsibilities to others. When in doubt, write the name down—you can always sort it out with your sponsor during the review process.
Writing Your Amends List Step-By-Step
The process of writing your amends list requires patience, honesty, and guidance. Don’t worry about willingness at this stage—just focus on getting everything down on paper.
Try with a 25-minute timer set on your phone and without thinking about it, just start writing down every name that comes to mind that you believe you may have caused harm to. When the timer goes off, take a break—go for a walk, grab some water, or call a friend.
When you return, set another timer for 25 minutes and write down all the names that popped up during the break plus any more that are revealed to you. This one hour of work should get all the most necessary names down on paper. Any additional names can be added later.
Detailed 8th Step List
- Start with Direct Harm: Identify those you know you harmed through lying, stealing, manipulation, or physical harm.
- Include Emotional Harm: Consider those hurt through neglect, broken promises, or stress caused by your actions.
- Be Specific: Write short, clear descriptions of the harm. Example: “Lied to my mother about being sober.”
- Review Regularly: Ask for guidance to uncover anything missed.
- Discuss with Your Sponsor: Refine the list together to ensure completeness.
The process is ongoing—don’t expect to get everything down perfectly on the first try. Trust that more will be revealed as you continue recovery.
Spirituality in the 8th Step
The 8th Step isn’t just about identifying harm; it’s a deeply spiritual process that fosters humility, grace, and willingness. This step invites you to align with a higher power, recognizing that true healing involves more than just taking responsibility—it also requires faith and trust in a Power greater than yourself to guide you through the amends process.
Spirituality in the 8th Step means letting go of control and embracing vulnerability. Some of the names on your list may feel impossible to confront, but this is where prayer and meditation become essential tools. Asking God for the willingness to make amends, even when it feels difficult or undeserved, is key to moving forward. You don’t have to feel ready to make every amends—your only job is to ask for the willingness to try.
The Role of Prayer in Building Willingness
One of the most effective ways to develop willingness is to pray for the people on your amends list, especially those you feel resentment or fear toward. Praying for their peace and happiness helps soften your heart and shift your perspective, making it easier to approach them with humility when the time comes. This practice also strengthens your connection to your God, reinforcing that you are not alone in this process.
Trusting in Divine Timing
The 8th Step also teaches patience and trust. You may not feel willing to make every amends right away, and that’s okay. God often reveals opportunities to make amends when the timing is right, sometimes placing people in your path unexpectedly. These moments serve as reminders that you are exactly where you need to be in your recovery, and with each small step, you move closer to freedom.
Working With a Sponsor on Step 8 of AA
A sponsor plays a crucial role in helping you navigate the 8th Step. They provide the guidance, support, and perspective needed to build your amends list thoughtfully and with integrity. While it can feel overwhelming to confront your past alone, a sponsor ensures that you understand you are not alone in the process and can reassure you with personal experiences of their own amends list.
How a Sponsor Helps Clarify Harm
It’s not always easy to determine where harm was done, especially in situations where the damage wasn’t obvious or intentional. A sponsor can help you identify where your behavior may have affected others, even in subtle ways, and guide you in distinguishing between necessary amends and instances where it might not be appropriate or could even cause further harm. This clarity allows you to create an amends list that is thorough but not overburdened with unnecessary guilt.
Accountability Through Honest Conversations
The 8th Step requires complete honesty, and that can feel vulnerable. Sharing your list with a sponsor ensures you aren’t carrying the burden alone. By openly discussing the names and situations on your list, you gain a clearer understanding of your role in those relationships and prepare yourself emotionally for the amends process. Your sponsor also holds you accountable, making sure nothing is left out intentionally and helping you stay committed to the work.
Gaining The Willingness Through Sponsor Guidance
There may be people on your list you feel unwilling or too afraid to face. A sponsor can help you work through that resistance by offering practical advice, sharing personal experiences, and suggesting spiritual practices like prayer and reflection. Often, they will encourage you to pray for those individuals, which helps soften resentment and fear, allowing willingness to grow over time.
Trusting The Process of Step 8
Your sponsor will remind you that building an amends list is a process and getting through your first list is important. It’s common for additional names to come to mind later, and part of the spiritual journey is trusting that God will reveal these opportunities when the time is right. Meeting with your sponsor regularly ensures that your list evolves as you grow in recovery, keeping you on track and spiritually grounded.
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Making Your Step 8 List
Creating your Step 8 amends list is a powerful part of the recovery journey, but it can also present challenges. While the process may seem straightforward, it’s easy to fall into certain traps that can slow progress or lead to unnecessary stress. Avoiding these common mistakes will help ensure your list is thorough, balanced, and aligned with the purpose of the 8th Step.
Step 8 Mistakes & How to Fix Them
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1. Over-Apologizing or Inventing Harm
It’s common to feel an urge to over-apologize or assume responsibility for things that weren’t truly your fault. However, the 8th Step is not about taking on unnecessary guilt or trying to make amends where no harm was done.
Solution: Stick to real harm. If you’re unsure, discuss it with your sponsor for clarity.
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2. Avoiding Difficult Names Out of Fear
One of the biggest challenges in Step 8 is confronting names that trigger fear, shame, or resentment. Avoiding these people may feel like self-protection, but it only delays healing.
Solution: Write down every name that comes to mind, even if you don’t feel ready yet. Willingness develops over time.
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3. Focusing on Perfection Instead of Progress
It’s easy to get stuck trying to make your list perfect. But the 8th Step isn’t about perfection—it’s about doing your best with what you know now.
Solution: Start with what you remember. Prayer and reflection will reveal additional names over time.
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4. Neglecting Guidance from a Sponsor
Trying to complete Step 8 alone can lead to feeling overwhelmed or misjudging who belongs on your list. A sponsor provides valuable insight.
Solution: Stay connected with your sponsor throughout the process. Their experience will help you navigate Step 8 wisely.
By avoiding these common mistakes, you’ll create an amends list that is thoughtful, balanced, and spiritually aligned. The 8th Step isn’t about getting it perfect the first time—it’s about making progress, being honest, and developing the willingness to make amends where they are needed. This prepares you for Step 9, where true healing begins.
Recovered On Purpose helps people work through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, providing guidance and resources to support their recovery journey.
Learn How To Make Your Step 9 Amends Here
Step 9 Amends GuideFinal Thoughts About Step 8 Amends List from Recovered On Purpose
The 8th step of AA and other 12 step programs is an essential piece to the overall puzzle of recovery. It is vital to be honest, thorough, and accept guidance from both your sponsor and God. There is nothing stopping you from writing this list quickly and thoroughly as long as you do it honestly – never leave anything out intentionally out of fear, shame or resentment.
This list becomes a key to your future free from the weight of past wrongs, living in a new happiness and new freedom you haven’t yet experienced in life. By writing this list, you will have the opportunity to make at least one amends per day off the list in your 9th step amends, ensuring your freedom to experience the 9th step promises out of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Enjoy this process, no matter how difficult it may seem, because your life is getting ready to change.
Adam Vibe Gunton is an American author, speaker and thought leader in addiction treatment and recovery. After overcoming homelessness and drug addiction, Adam found his life’s purpose in helping addicts find the same freedom he found. As Founder and Executive Director of the 501(c)3 nonprofit, Recovered On Purpose, and Managing Partner of Behavioral Health Partners, Adam has helped thousands find freedom from addiction all over the world.