Jeff Wickersham is a sought-after accountability and peak performance coach who helps guide clients to intentionally step into the best versions of themselves and unlock that inner hero waiting to be unleashed.
Jeff’s a #1 best-selling author, Tony Robbins award winner, podcast host, speaker, and creator of the 4-step Morning Fire Methodology. He recently completed his second David Goggins 4x4x48 Mile run, has meditated for 1,684 straight days, and taken an ice bath or cold shower 1,339 straight days.
If you have that itch that you can be more, do more, and you want more, Jeff can help get you there!
Read The Transcript Below
what’s up recovered on purpose family i am so excited you’re here for this week’s episode of guest sundays right here on the recovered on purpose show and the recovered on purpose show is brought to you by all the people who said yes to adding purpose meaning and passion to their lives and recovery through sharing their stories by joining the recovery speaker share your story powerfully course today’s student shout out goes to crystal lavender crystal has an amazing story of overcoming a decades-long addiction and is dedicated to helping others in the darkness find the light of recovery she has now found i’m super proud of you crystal and super excited to be on this journey with you guys enjoy the show and keep living recovered on purpose the black represents the darkness from which we came the white represents the light in which we now live and the red represents the passion it takes to live recovered on purpose
hello hello hello and welcome everybody super excited that you are here and i’m going to say it again for you that just came on live the recovered on purpose show is brought to you by all the people who have said yes to adding purpose meaning and passion to their lives and recovery through sharing their stories by joining the recovery speakers share your story powerfully course today’s student shout out goes to crystal lavender crystal is an amazing story of overcoming a decades-long addiction and is dedicated to helping others in the darkness find the light of recovery she has now found i’m super proud of you crystal and i can’t wait to keep getting your message out if you’re an addict in recovery and want to learn how to add impact and income to your story and telling it go to recoveredonpurpose.com to book your call with me so today we have a super special guest i’m excited to introduce you to we’re going to have a great talk about adding peak peak peak messaging to your to your life how to get to your performance so jeff wickersham is a sought after accountability and peak performance coach who helps guide clients to intern to intentionally step into the best versions of themselves and unlock that inner hero waiting to be unleashed jeff’s a number one best-selling author tony robbins award winner podcast host speaker and creator of the four-step morning fire methodology he recently completed his second david goggins four by four by 48 mile run has meditated for 1684 straight days and taken an ice bath or cold shower 1339 straight days if you have that itch that you can be more do more and you want more jeff can help you get there guys i’m super excited to introduce you to my good friend jeff wickersham thanks for being here brother adam thanks for having me i am fired up after that intro and the music we’re ready to go man yes sir yes sir and i i get that a lot and my my good friend who actually uh he’s my producer and he’s been with me since like the end of my addiction he started making videos and stuff for me and he stuck with me through this and he made that whole intro video with the music and everything and man i just i feel like i could swallow a dumbbell after watching that thing so i get ready bro i get ready no that was awesome jeff why why do you do what you do what are you what are you up to what’s your what’s your story and you know why is it that you want to help people get to that peak performance it starts for me seven and a half years ago and i had spent just to give you some background about 20 years in corporate america and then seven and a half years ago i had that life event that punched me in the gut cut me at the knees i lost my mom to breast cancer so i watched the woman that brought me into this world take her last breath and when you have the fragility of life smack you in the face like that did right in that moment you question everything in the coming days weeks months ahead and i knew there was something more that i had inside right i always kind of felt like a square peg in a round hole in corporate america so i ended up leaving opening up a gym because i was always into fitness my late mother was an aerobics teacher in the late 80s and 90s as well as a school and then what organically grew out of that was peak performance coaching because we don’t have a shortage of gyms in the world yet so many people still struggle with getting in the best tip top shape not only physically but also mentally as well as i needed to do work right yep right between your ears right i needed to do work to install habits rituals mindset of a peak performer and i had all the habits that i took from my late teens and my 20s and it wasn’t serving who i was as a person as a husband as a father so you know the the spark was really my mother’s loss and that deep searing pain and then transforming it into purpose into passion into energy and then every single day waking up and being grateful to be standing and have an opportunity and then how can i impact others amen i love that love that so much and you know we’re talking on the recovered on purpose show most the people that watch this show are either in addiction recovery they’re struggling with addiction or their loved one is struggling with addiction and we’ve talked a little bit about your story with this and you know some things that had to happen in order for you to reach your own peak performance and what was what was kind of going on with your life that made you change some things around it that got you the next level
having that weekend alcohol binge i had it in my late teens 20s and 30s where you know i was drinking every single weekend i couldn’t wait until five o’clock i remember a neighbor would knock on my door and hand me a drink right at five o’clock when when it was shut down shut down from work time right so that
didn’t allow me to operate at a peak performance level i remember coaching a gym class at eight a.m and i had hung out with my buddies in the neighborhood till like two and three in the morning the night before and my wife gave me a nice you know bout of uh truth serum when she said how can you go teach fitness and health and wellness to a class when you stink yes i remember being like you know what you’re right like what the hell am i doing so you know that was one piece and now and this year i said i’m done with it i’m just just not not having any alcohol in my system i want to have a clear mind that clear focus uh as well as the other piece was you know porn porn was so prevalent in my teens in my 20s and actually early in my marriage where if my you know wife wasn’t in the mood she said you know go check out porn so it was actually she was giving me the okay to do it but i know it didn’t and hit the the false sense of reality definitely those two things were just my biggest kryptonites in life and that’s why this year in 2022 i said you know what if i really want to up level if i want to be authentic to myself and then be able to lead my clients i’m doing it so i put it out in the universe and threw the gauntlet down and and i feel fantastic seven plus months into the year amen amen so what is your what is your sobriety date do you have the actual date uh beginning beginning of the year so january uh january first was my start amen so they there’s something like what do they say 85 of new year’s resolutions are failed in the first month something like that yeah they are they say that the third week of january is the most depressing week of the year because so many people fail at that time and i’ll say partly because we’ve been lied to that 21 days create a habit like that’s the that’s the bare minimum and science is now taking brain scans neuroscientists have proven out it can be anywhere from 21 to 67 days so imagine getting to that third week thinking you made it but yet you still got to go three three times longer right so that’s why so many people fail they don’t understand the science behind it they don’t have an awareness and that’s why yeah to your point 85 percent of people fail yeah and there were a couple things in there and most people that are that are watching this show you know we had a a different kind of relationship with drugs and alcohol right we weren’t able to just like have that thing that we were able to say we’re done now we’re we’re just done now and we and we stop right but the people that can right you you have this there’s some kind of reward that you’re looking for in stopping drinking i mean us in recovery we get we get all kinds of rewards from it we’re able to get our life we’re able to you know have these different things but we don’t think about the other rewards that everybody gets from it right like everybody gets from sobriety so what’s what are some things that you’ve actually gained like mentally physically emotionally from stopping drinking physically i’m 47 years young i i’m in better shape now than i was in my 20s i mean my body fat percentage is down i’ve got two sons i say they’re the dogs chasing me like 12 and 14 right hitting the gym and i say i’m going to stay out in front of you right i’m i’m working hard so that’s been a difference maker right our bodies regenerate all the cells in a six to nine month window so i’m hitting that window where i haven’t had any alcohol in my system so physically i feel athletic ready to go mentally just crystal clear right every single day when you wake up you don’t have that fog you don’t have that anxiety the depression that comes with you know having alcohol in the system and then the other one is is just having a an amazing awareness of experiences and when they hit you and i remember we we got back from the beach a couple weeks ago we were down uh outer banks of north carolina and my extended family was there and i was watching my two sons my niece’s nephews my brother brother-in-law throw the football around and i was brought to tears and my wife said why why are you is everything okay i said i just i’m just so happy to be here and i know my late mother would give anything to be here right now and i was just soaking in the moment and i i would say you know in years past i’d be three four five beers deep at that point and i wouldn’t soak in that moment so uh you know the the physical the mental aspects have been been pretty amazing i love that i love that and i was actually just in uh cartagena colombia this this past week and you know went out to some clubs and stuff and like um had some fun people were drinking around me and stuff and it’s it’s all good but i had an amazing time like without it they tell us in recovery to like to watch out for triggers and things like that and like stay away from there and stay away from there but i was visiting with friends that came down to colombia to visit me from america so i’m like not gonna miss out on going out on a boat ride with them just because they’re drinking i’m not gonna miss out on going out and dancing at clubs because they’re drinking you know and i was able to have that same experience where like i was soaking in this moment i’m standing on stage behind the dj with some of one of my longest time friends right in a different country and you know i i don’t know if i would have ever been able not even leave the country but like be able to be there in that moment you know be there in that moment like you’re talking about and you also mentioned you also mentioned porn and i do want to talk about that because i haven’t really i haven’t done a show about it in a long time i have my good friend frank rich who he’s a coach for you know peak performance and things but is focused on you know getting you off of porn because it does certain things to you it does things mentally emotionally physically um what were you noticing in in using porn that it was depleting you of life what was going on with that well number one it was impacting my sex life with my wife right and and wasn’t able to perform at the best level i could be and and that level of intimacy isn’t there because you’re just watching 10 15 an hour two hours of something that is just giving you a constant dopamine hit right on your on your brain and and it’s just a such a false sense of reality so you know that that closeness definitely wasn’t there that that level of intimacy and then you know when as a male when you can’t perform man it’s it’s a crushing cycle where okay what would happen then when i wouldn’t i’d go down and grab a drink right and it was just kind of this vicious cycle so um it’s definitely it’s been amazing to to say you know what be done with that and and i’ve seen everything from the intimacy from our sex life it’s all all improved from it and it’s such a sneaky kind of thing that is just everywhere right it’s so easy we’ve got these super computers in our phones and it’s it’s so easy where you know back 30 years ago you know it was a playboy or penthouse or something magazine where that’s the only now it’s just so readily available and so many people go down that dark path and they just get stuck in it yeah and it’s not it’s really not talked about enough because the the negative impact of of porn if we’re not even looking spiritually we’re looking like mentally we’re looking physically and you’re talking about being able to um have that intimate relationship with someone because if you’re if you’re consuming something like that you are a you’re you’re looking at that person as an object number one you’re looking at that entire um sex realm as an object to you know take care of yourself right and then it also like takes away creativity this is from some studies that you know because you’re just seeing these things right and it takes away that part of your brain that is creative and i’ve heard that it will actually like make it so that you can work on projects better you can you can create better because that part of your brain is not satisfied from that specific habit have you noticed that at all with the within this last seven months i definitely those two with the alcohol on the point i’m sending myself text messages when i’m out for a walk or a run like oh wow i’ve got this idea i want to capture it real quick so definitely feel that that clarity and and my mind and that’s the most important right the mental game is now at a peak level where hey my physical side was pretty darn good you know minus the alcohol but the mental side was just was just not there and it’s interesting while i’m listening to you and having this conversation with you because you use certain words in sentences that are that are powerful but it’s like you’re doing it you’re doing it subconsciously you keep saying peak you keep saying my performance wasn’t here or my performance wasn’t here like your mindset is set on peak performance like what can i cut out in order to reach a better performance is that something that you are consciously doing or that you made the decision when you cut these things off to start seeking more or is that something you’ve always had i’ve always been an extremely competitive person right i remember one of my fraternity brothers graduating college said that i was the most competitive person he ever met and if my mom was on the five yard line i’d run her over to score the winning touchdown and i thought it was the biggest compliment i ever got i told my mother and she was like would you i said absolutely without a shadow of a doubt but yes no i mean i was quiet introverted kids sports gave me an out and then with the passing of my mom and the reps putting in the reps physically putting in the reps mentally over and over and over again now i’m here versus where i started and i was voted my senior class on the mail side i was voted biggest complainer in my senior class i was voted biggest flirt but like people would say no way that that couldn’t be yeah that’s that’s who i was but i i had that life event and then now it’s over and over again i mean it was just a beautiful day out here where i lived the other day and i said to my wife like it’s gonna be a spectacular day and she was just like sometimes it’s like living with this person that you know we call it the new jeff first the old jeff and you know that that’s a great powerful way to live and what about i mean if we all brought energy and positivity and a smile and cheered each other on and you know we’re there to support each other this world would be such a better place and that’s why like i lost my mom i want to make a dent in the universe by bringing my energy bringing my enthusiasm bring in my excitement and i don’t care who’s people can talk whatever they want i don’t give a [ __ ] i am here to do that because that is my mission is to raise other people up help guide and let’s all when we all can intentionally step into the best version of ourselves then then you get changed then you get some magic and and it’s an amazing amazing place to be at amen i love that love that you said something earlier also um about basically how are you going to go into this this gym and teach these people about health when you just went out drinking all night right so it’s like practicing what you preach how could someone possibly be teaching someone you know how to be at peak performance or how to you know live their best life or tell their story if they haven’t done that themselves or not living that themselves so did were you were you struggling with that before your wife said that or was that kind of like a like a god shot like i need to i needed to hear that no that was that was a pretty good shot across the uh across the bow and i definitely took that in and said you know what she’s she’s she’s freaking right and uh as well as my sons growing up right this was six seven years ago so they were much younger now this year i get to share what i’m doing they can see it they see the difference they feel it i can connect the dots to them like hey i’m in better shape now at 47 that i wasn’t 27 because i don’t have any alcohol in my system yeah that’s a powerful thing to lead from the front with two boys you know 12 and and soon to be 14 very impressionable they’re like that i ain’t touching that crap like i want to be peak performer just like you so you know that as a father right truly one of the greatest gifts i’ve ever been given to be a dad and to be able to now say you know what i’m making this choice for myself but to show up better for you guys and then we’re we’re all on our toes we’re all in the attack as a family that’s a that’s a powerful connected force yeah i love that and i actually want to ask you this because i usually have people on here that struggled with addiction and alcoholism who have kids right and the average age for a child to experiment with alcohol in america is 11 and 12. and marijuana is 14. that’s the average age right what’s the kind of conv because you have this peak performance mentality you have you have to be instilling this into your kids obviously so what is the conversation that you have around around alcohol drugs things like that what would you tell you know another parent about that to keep them deterred from doing it number one is lead by example i think kids are sponges right they they watch everything i mean i literally a facebook memory popped up from eight years ago and my two sons came back from the outer banks and they were doing like a p90x video at four and three because they said they needed well they saw me all the time they were around the exercise right the working out piece so leading by example is is so so critical and then having conversations about your past and sharing some of the tough stories the embarrassing stories because if they don’t hear that and understand and and you can be vulnerable and truthful and honest with them they might want to go down that route and experiment right so i think that’s incredibly powerful to lead by example and and lead from the front yeah i love that so much i was actually talking to a friend um earlier this week about talking just like having that open communication with the kids and making it so that you are the safe place to come to like you are that place where whatever happens if they’re if it’s something that’s embarrassing if they tried something they knew they shouldn’t or if they see a friend doing something they knew that they know that friends shouldn’t have done they you’re that safe space for them to come to that trusting relationship right and you said you have two sons right correct so these are like little people that you are growing into you that you are growing into this identity right man that’s i can’t wait to have kids i can’t wait to have kids bro it is and i always tell them i said i am growing you both to be better than i ever was you are gonna blow me away because i’ve meditated with them before school for three years i dropped my mom was probably the biggest post-it note fan in the history of the universe she had every single color post-it note well i write them post-it note every morning put in an envelope and throw it outside their door before they get up because i want them to know that their dad loves them every single day but then i can drop these little nuggets of personal development of growth of mindset all these things and my one son has him all over his door my other son has shoe boxes full and i think about how powerful is that to just give a little gift of growth get one percent better today or just hey i love you man i’m just feeding them all these little seeds planting them and i’m like you guys go blow me away and i i totally expect that and and encourage it and and bring it out of them but it’s such a gift to be able to do that for for young kids man i’ve never i’ve never heard of that i’ve never heard of someone like writing post-it notes to their kids because that’s like like i’m just having all of the all the thoughts of the impact that could make on a kid’s life because when i’m i don’t have kids yet but i imagine like like kids that i see out in public or something like or you know just smiles or something like that or like if i you know i think of that one sentence like one sentence you could possibly say to a kid that would just change his life you know and i like if i see a kid that’s like dressed to the nine like maybe his mom dressed him up in a suit or something he’s like five years old and i’m like dude you look amazing today you look so good today like what impact that one sentence could make on a kid but here you are and you’re making one of these every single day every day can you give some examples in case some some parents are out there that that you know want to start doing this with their kids you know i get them they come to me in the morning after my meditation a little bit of exercise part of my morning fire methodology but you know it’s one was act who you want to be and eventually you’ll be who you act right and it’s or it’s just like hey did i just get one percent better or growth is not linear you have dips you have valleys but you also have peaks right these things that i didn’t get that school doesn’t teach us right school never taught me this stuff elementary’s you know high school college those little mindset nuggets and sometimes it’s just hey i love you i’m so proud of you right the more that our kids can hear how much we love them how proud we are man they’re just so much more encouraged to do and and i encourage you know let’s say they have a failure a bad game hey congratulations you learn the most from those lessons right and if i can instill that type of mentality that mindset i just know they’re gonna do amazing things and that’s also i’ve coached you sports now for 20 plus years so i just love you know given that but i tell them i said now you’ve got a peak performance coach in the house like when we’re doing a rep on the bench press and i tell ask my one son how many gonna get he says i’ll try and get four and i give him this eyebrow like he goes i’m gonna get four yes you bet like don’t say there is no try right and i give them that image when you say you try you’re in a room and you want to walk through that door when the immediate once you say try all of a sudden a door opens up behind you your subconscious mind goes out the back door and you can’t go through the forward door so exactly you know language is so powerful being aware of that and giving them those gifts yeah it’s it’s it’s it’s amazing amen and you said something in there with with youth sports so when i was when i was growing up i was on this football team the columbine raiders in in little league we won state every single year but one year uh we got beat by wheatridge okay and this one kid on that team was just like trucking us there was like nothing we could do it was bigger than us and everything and so we lost the trophy and then we found out like i don’t know a week later that they had a kid on the team that was two years older that was playing against us and the south jefferson school or uh sports board or whatever they are called our coach and said that they will reward us the trophy and my coach was like no we lost and he had a meeting with all of us you know he let us know because it’s you know you should let us know he said we lost that game and we’re not going to take it because you know we lost and that was that was a huge lesson because you know like you were saying i think i think learning that humility at that point and learning how to lose learning that it’s okay and that no matter if someone else does whatever it doesn’t matter what someone else does we have to show up as our best we have to be able to beat whatever’s out there right because world’s not fair dude i don’t know if you had a fair world when you were growing up and and out here in the world but uh i sure didn’t no and i i would say one of the things i always stress is effort if you give max effort i don’t give a [ __ ] if you lose like max effort is what matters if you lay it all out on the line hey you did your best and that’s all we can ever ask of ourselves and some days your best isn’t good enough all right hey what can you learn what can you take from it what can you practice on what actions you’re going to take from that and then do your best again if you continue to get in that mindset hey you’re going to be successful in life because you’re going to just have this tenacious relentless gritty attitude and that’s that’s incredibly powerful i love that and it’s it’s interesting when we talk about sports versus life because sports has a very specific like win or lose like failure or success right right but in life right we don’t have this like end goal or we shouldn’t have this end goal of making it or failing right it’s almost like we have to chase success in order to have success and while we’re going there you know when in this community there’s a lot of people that can you know give up on getting clean and sober i’ve watched it so many times where people are just like i can’t do it there’s nothing i can do i was at that point right what i found is that the people that go after every single journey every single different kind of of treatment or the 12 steps or church or program or going to their probation officer whatever it is the ones that are like going at it and not taking failure as as defeat right they’re the ones that end up finding it because they find that one journey that they’re not going to give up on and they’re going to give it everything they possibly have and that’s for this community i mean that’s that’s exactly what we need to hear we have to be thinking in that mindset of of getting out and getting to it we can find recovery if we do it guys we’re going to take a quick 30 second break when we come back we’re going to talk about practical ways that you can add peak performance into your life your recovery and if you’re still struggling do this to get recovered
what’s up family i hope you’re enjoying this episode as much as i do when i’m making them and guys if you are getting value from this if you’ve heard any golden nuggets that you think other people should hear make sure that you’re sharing it with your groups or your pages so other people that are looking for a message of hope are able to find it also in case you weren’t here for the beginning of the show if you have a recovery story and you want to learn how to add impact and income through sharing it follow the link in the pinned comment to book your one-time 100 free call with me where we’re going to strategize exactly how you can share your story and do just that enjoy the rest of the show keep living recovered on purpose we’ve got we’ve got a ton of comments coming in so i’m going to pop some of these up then we’re going to go into uh into the mindset peak performance and everything so and crystal if you weren’t if you weren’t here for the beginning of the show you are the student shout out for today uh i know you might have came in a little late but after the show rewinded the first couple minutes so i leave post-it notes to my mom and my son all the time hide them on his cereal boxes and whatnot amen that’s awesome random acts of kindness are one of my favorite things to do every day exactly love them facts jeff thanks brother the value i get putting a smile on on human beings gave is honestly priceless yes positive affirmations makes a huge difference in kids lives my son was crying one time about his final exams and i told him it was more important for him to learn to be a good human than it was to get perfect grades what do you think of that yeah so so important yep yeah and when you when you brought it up earlier about about school and they aren’t really teaching us this kind of peak performance mindset or like these kind of things they don’t teach us about credit they don’t teach us about bills you know we could get into a whole conversation about why but that’s something that we have to take care of at the home right that’s something that we have to be teaching the kids we absolutely do and my late mother was a school i mean my wife’s a school teacher my sister-in-law is a school teacher so you know we’ve got kind of that that balance but yes the the peak performance the mindset the financial education those are vital pieces that we need to lay that groundwork so they can be successful when they’re out of college and out on their own yes with younger kids getting down to their level and speaking words of encouragement makes a huge impact they love being able to see you eye to eye yes yes yes value i get yes i think i already put that one up absolutely sister anna tough love great conversations not defeating within yourself yes any advice for someone who is 30 days sober i am as of yesterday we got someone with 30 days sober everybody congratulations girl what would you say for someone we’re going to focus specifically on because if you’re 30 days that means that you’re at a point now where you can start adding good habits into your life you can start adding you know things that will help you to enjoy life and recovery while you have the foundation whether you’re doing the 12 steps or whether you’re doing counseling or something like that so with this we’re actually going to hop into the conversation about morning fire and about this peak performance and how you help your clients and let’s give some people some some practical things that they can take away from this to go use so i love bookending i call it bookending your days right what’s that last 30 minutes of the night look like how do you prepare for success in the morning and then what’s that first 30 minutes of your day look like when you wake up and at night many times we aren’t preparing for a great night’s sleep i mean that’s where we recover mentally physically that’s where we can wind down do a little digital sunset put the phones away the tv away actually prepare prepare for a good night’s sleep right and and then i also want people to set out what they’re going to do right when they wake in the morn wake up in the morning because it’s so critical when you wake up to not have any distractions and stack these winds so you feel fantastic right your energy level will just skyrocket your focus will be there so you prepare for success at night get a great night’s sleep and then in the morning you wake up and you stack these winds love getting water in first when you wake up that should be the first thing you do the longest stretch of the day we go without water is why we sleep our bodies are made 60 of water our vital organs are in the 70s 80s if you’re talking about the lungs getting a full glass of water in you’re going to start that rehydration process and people are like and i tell them i say put the glass of water out and ready for you and some people are like well that’s ridiculous why would i do that and i said okay let me give a story in a scenario you come downstairs you go to get a glass of glass out of the cabinet there’s no clean glasses oh crap all right i’m gonna go to the dishwasher well my spouse didn’t push in the dishwasher exactly you know the fully tight so it never clicked on all the cups are dirty all the glasses are dirty what’s your mind gonna say your mind’s gonna say sucks screw this i’m not i’m just not going to do it so you’ve got to prepare for success and so many times we’re go go go busy busy busy in life and we’re not preparing to be successful so that’s why everything’s prepared at night get a glass of water in love exercising or moving in the morning because we’re physical beings we’re meant to move you want to change your physiology change your state get some natural energy coming out of your body get the blood flowing moving it doesn’t have to be a hundred burpees but it can be going for a two to five minute walk outside in the morning right getting some fresh air doing something moving exercise that’ll help you already now you got two wins you’re starting to feel good about yourself number three love meditating right and and i think we’ve all been have this misconception of this monk on the side of a mountain right bald with this cross legs and snows pounding down on his head i know we’re both uh we’re both a little you know challenged in the hair department but you know meditation just breathing right focusing on our breath a couple counts in a couple counts out i still do guided meditation after you know how many straight days i’ve done give her it gives us some space and it gives our minds and actually through meditation you can increase the gray matter in your brain like they’ve done scans on it it’s crazy what we can actually do when we’re taking time to take care of ourselves now you got three three wins already three
positive forces in the right direction love gratitude journaling obviously i talked about writing notes to my sons love reading and hey that could take 15 20 25 minutes and you’ve got five or six things accomplished and you feel good and the number one thing that i say is you don’t check your phone immediately when you wake up because when you check your phone and i would say 90 of people do it you are losing the battle for your mind before your feet have even hit the carpet or the floor when you get out of bed why because you’re gonna get a text message you’re to check social media you’re going to check the news and it’s all either negative or our mind perceives it as negative so what does that do it triggers our caveman brain that fight or flight system thinking we’re going to get attacked by a saber-toothed tiger and all of a sudden we’re in a constant state of stress constant state of anxiety phones away no distractions stack these five or six wins and then you’re going to be in so much more control you’re controlling those bookends and that’s about the most we can control in our lives we know life throws you those curve balls it’s going to throw crap at you some days if you can control those bookends you have a foundation to say okay i got a great night’s sleep i stacked wins now i feel a tremendous energy i feel focused some of the other bs that i would worry about years ago i don’t worry about anymore and you’re ready to take on the day amen i love that and you you were talking about the uh the evening routine right and for people that have been following me for a while or you know seen videos of me doing this i talk about something called the list of six doing that before bed right and on my white board right outside of here it’s my list of six that i do before bed one is always when i’m gonna wake up and i have the alarm because when you wake up to an alarm and the first thing you do is set your feet on the ground that’s like an instant win that’s an instant like i am taking control of this day right and then it’s just five other things that i’m gonna do that day it always includes like not always but five days a week the gym and when i walk to the gym i’ll read a book and stuff just like to get my mind focused and stuff like that and getting that physiology going right and what i found doing that list of six right that when we write it right before we go to bed like you’re talking about when we when we put these things that we’re gonna do in the morning down on paper or down on a white whiteboard our mind while we’re sleeping actually subconsciously plans the morning and it plans to get up and do these things so what are what are some things that you have like because i know you’ve you’ve coached a bunch of people on this stuff so how has this impacted your your clients to actually start doing these things because i uh i i have people and i have videos out that i put out about this stuff right but a lot of people don’t take this kind of conversation seriously to where they take the action like you were saying 90 of people will open their phone right when they wake up what have you seen in the people that take on this type of work the morning routine and the and the evening routine what have you seen number one i’ve seen people just lose weight from working out five to ten minutes a day because they’re consistent over and over again right and and when you stack those wins in the morning you feel good hey you’re gonna make better choices throughout your day right all right i worked out meditated maybe if it’s that sweet after lunch you’re like i’m not gonna eat that because i feel good why would i waste what i’ve already done right so weight loss has been one that i didn’t actually expect but has happened to many many clients and they’re always shocked they’re like how can i used to have trainers and everything and i never lost this weight but i’m doing and they’re like well it’s consistent because we’re doing it day after day so that would be one two the reduction and i’ve had multiple people who have gotten off their anxiety medication all together because they are controlling their bookends right and most of the time their anxiety was the worst when they wake up because why they’re checking their phone they’re getting the negative and that’s all what’s going to happen or what’s going to go wrong the what ifs just start piling in where you’re not checking that phone all of a sudden you hit the ground like to your point you’re getting a win i mean i i teach and i don’t know if everybody knows this and i don’t even know if you know this adam i mean you can eliminate the snooze button off your phone oh you can eliminate it on an iphone you can go into the alarm three spots down and hit off and then you have one option just stop let’s go i didn’t know that i just used the stop yeah like the biggest button on your alarm is snooze like they’re almost how would they do that they’re almost preparing us to snooze for another eight minutes and then you’re getting that loss right when you wake up so i’ve eliminated that from my phone i gotta coach all my clients on that so that’s a nugget for all you out there listening and watching you can eliminate it from the options all right so i go to i’m in my i’m in my phone right now just because this is the kind of thing that i do when i hear nuggets like this i take them and i do it you can go into the alarm itself and then fourth down is snooze and you can toggle it on or off
once you click into the uh once you click into the edit the alarm all right no more snooze for adam that’s it let’s go so you know the anxiety but i don’t like the option there right why we even have the option if you want to be fully committed right don’t even have the option and that came out of pain because there was a couple years ago i hit snooze once and i was pissed off at myself but rather than hit myself over the hammer and beating myself up i got curious i wanted to look like you know look with a flashlight put on that white lab coat and say why is this yeah one the snooze button is the biggest button i said there’s got to be a way to turn this off and sure enough i found it and i’m like why does i don’t think people know that they can actually eliminate the snooze button so what’s it do for someone’s mindset that they wake up and they hit the snooze button what does that do to somebody you’re immediately saying that that eight minutes of bad sleep is more important than your goals dreams and what you want to achieve that’s the cleanest quickest way i can say that eight minutes of bad sleep is more important than everything you want to achieve any goal you’re chasing the life you want to live that’s a great perspective to have related to that that snooze yeah i love that i love that and kate the uh the list of six is something you can absolutely start right now something you can absolutely start right now it doesn’t matter where you’re at in recovery in your addiction i did it i actually started doing it while i was still using drugs because i was trying so hard so many different methods and everything and it actually helped me in that time also so this is something and what you can do in your list of six in early recovery is literally if you have a meeting in the morning that you can go to that you can wake up maybe like an hour earlier and go to this meeting if you do that you are instantly setting your day up saying i am working on my recovery i am recovered i am not using drugs and alcohol anymore because i’m taking control of my life and finding my journey to recovery so it’s a really good thing to start right now i’m proud of you kate super proud of you so in this morning right and you start seeing people losing weight and when you were talking about that i heard heard something come up that i think it’s charles duhigg that talks about it in uh in the power of habit when he talks about the keystone habit and he talks about like this little thing that you can do this little thing that you can change that changes your whole mindset for the entire day my keystone habit that i that i started in my very early recovery in my first 30 days i had to make my bed every single day and i i still like i think there’s might have been like 10 total days in the last five years that i didn’t personally make my bed including staying in hotel rooms and there was some circumstances that made it so i didn’t right and this makes it so that i’m like during the day when decisions come up i’ve already made a good one i’ve already said that i’m making that good decision so it’s almost like easier to make those good decisions what are those what are those keystone habits that people are doing that that you’re noticing could work for everybody exercise is such a incredibly in movement right i mean they say it’s science has proven out it’s a 12-hour mood boost right a lot of people like to say it’s a little bit of ritalin so it helps with your focus a little bit of prozac helps with your mood as well and it’s something we can naturally do i mean 12-hour mood boost okay yep i’m all in for that right um you know making your bed i do the same thing right because and this is so impactful everything you do matters and impacts everything else you do so if you think about it that you talked about making your bed well if you don’t make your bed then you’re probably not going to be as consistent or you’re not going to honor your commitments or you’re not going to do the things you should do later in the day but by the fact that you make your bed it impacts positively everything else you’re going to do and i i think when we take that mindset when we take that kind of methodology adopt it all of a sudden just that small simple thing it matters so much more because it’s going to have that downstream effect so you know when we can get into that that’s very important i would also say as you’re starting out anything make it so incredibly easy that it’s almost laughable right if you if you haven’t worked out don’t say you’re going to go to the gym for an hour or you’re going to do 100 burpees like literally do one push-up one sit-up or walk for one minute and then once you’re done it celebrate it yes right because you get that dopamine hit it feels silly but it actually feels incredible and my family sees sees me all the time going yes and they’re like oh there’s dad again or there’s the crazy guy but you’re giving yourself that hit a dopamine which i i mentioned before we’re we’re in a society that just goes goes goes busy busy busy we rob ourselves of that dopamine hit hardwiring what we just did that was good for us with actually feeling good yeah so what happens is tomorrow we don’t do it when we rob ourselves with that well you start celebrating it get some progress and then you can you know crawl before you walk walk before you run so make things easy and so easy that they’re laughable get it done and then celebrate and then you’ll do it again tomorrow yes i love that so much and we in our addictions you know we synthetically you know added these dopamine hits we synthetically made it so that we were constantly going up and then constantly going down with these dopamine hits all the time and with these kinds of habits with these kinds of celebrations with this exercise and with journaling and things that like cause those different dopamine hits we’re actually creating and using those neural highways that we created we created these highways in our addiction of habit of going down and using drugs what we had to do all these steps in order to get the drugs and then use the drugs our routine of making it and using it and when we start creating these habits that give us these little hits of dopamine of dopamine right we actually are able to get really aligned really aligned with these positive habits and they will start giving us these feelings that we you know we were seeking in our drug addiction synthetically but now it’s natural and it’s and it’s rewarding it’s rewarding us so guys these are this is gold this is really really gold i’m loving it so what are some what would you tell people out there that if they were because you’re saying make it super easy right and that’s and what i’ve seen is that like if we say you know we’re going to do one push-up you know and we get down we do that one push-up and we celebrate it you know sometimes we’ll actually be like well why not do nine ten more you know why wouldn’t we do more have you noticed that yeah so so true and i i use that in my own life right chunking it up and saying hey i’m only gonna do one and you mentioned in my intro i did my second david goggins four by four by 48 i mean that’s four miles every four hours for 48 hours straight so when you’re starting it you have 12 four mile legs to run and he starts it at 8 pm pacific i was 11 00 p.m eastern time at 11 o’clock you run the first one you’re like if you if i were to say to myself oh my gosh i got 11 more left what would my mind immediately say this is a mountain that you can’t get past instead when i go at 11 o’clock i only have one more 11 o’clock session the next night to run so when i get past that one i say all right i’ve done one i’m halfway there i only have one more 11 p.m session left and all of a sudden starts the mind to open up oh we can do one more rather than 11. so if you can chunk it up and play these little games of hey i’m just going to do one and see what happens all of a sudden when you take action and you talked about this right people have the knowledge many times and they don’t take action take action first small action and then lean into it you’re going to start feeling more motivated when you move when you take action and then it’s going to build upon your identity right and so many times we were taught this equation backwards where he said how do i feel and then based upon how i feel you know our parents or whoever would say how you feel well uh you don’t have to do this you don’t take action but what happens what happens to your identity when you don’t take action well it spirals downward you feel crappy about yourself right well let’s flip that totally on its head first define your identity let’s take exercise i define myself every morning as a world-class athlete do you think that world-class athlete’s not going to exercise absolutely not so i take action upon it and then what happens to my feeling i feel freaking fantastic because i stay committed every single day so if you’re going to define that identity early in the morning as you’re stacking these wins it’s an incredible place to take action from and then feel better and then you’re going to spiral upwards rather than downwards i love that so much and i want to dive into what that means to create an identity and how somebody could create an identity in their own life right like i i say affirmations i have a why statement you know why i’m doing what i’m doing i’m here to i’m authentically me and i share myself and my story every day to empower addicts in recovery to live a life of purpose and mission beyond quitting drugs and alcohol and i say that every single day and that identity that’s my identity statement that’s my why statement that’s why i’m doing what i do that makes it so that i make these decisions during the day i show up to these these live events five days a week and you know having that identity is what is driving me into doing all this what what would you say would be a good exercise for someone to find an identity that they could chase after that they that could form their why right so number one is taking some space right getting away from all inputs and just sitting with yourself and saying who do i truly want to be in life who do i want to show up as and somebody had asked me recently you know what what the question was what would god say to you when you met the maker and i said i really thought about i said he’s going to say you played full out you left nothing on the field and i get deeply emotional about that right because that means i did everything that i could do so taking some time and just defining who do you want to show up as and then start showing up as that person because to your point you made it where hey you you go through these six and then the mind the subconscious mind right it’s like a nasa super computer runs behind the scenes when you’re sleeping to prepare you to get those done in the morning same thing happens when you define an identity write it down put it out have it visible the subconscious mind doesn’t know if that’s true or not but if you see it and start taking action all of a sudden your shoulders are up your chest is high you walk you operate in a different manner and people are like what the hell what what what has happened to you i am acting how i want to show up in life and that’s that’s so incredibly powerful and we need that fight that dog mentality right so many people are just going through life and i feel like they’re frogs in a boiling pot of water it’s slowly getting turned up and they’re not doing anything well define who you want to step into every day yes and then live that way and that gives you such a sense of purpose and your mind doesn’t know the difference and all of a sudden eventually that’s how it’s going to be and you’re going to look back and say holy crap it actually worked like it’s just it’s incredibly powerful that identity drives so we are consistent with how we view ourselves yes our actions our daily habits are the things we do are consistent with how we view ourselves yes so if you’re not taking time to define your identity you’re missing a critical step and when you do that all of a sudden it’s going to be like jet fuel in your veins i love it love it and there’s there’s two things you said in there that i’m gonna touch on so and i i love having these conversations because we we keep having these things that come up that i talk about to people that i’m coaching okay literally when i when i and that means what does that mean that means that it’s true it’s validating this stuff works guys actually taking these steps one of the things that you said was i literally coach my people with their why statement to roll their shoulders back and put their chest out while they say it say it with that state say it like you’re like you are in that place right now because if you just like read it in your head it doesn’t work and if you just read it like like i am recovered on purpose that doesn’t work right but we we put ourselves in that physical state of who we want to be of who we are in that power state and it like it goes into us and we can bring it into the world right and man i love it i love it so much and uh i’ll lead into that because i mean you can do a superman pose right hands on your side chest up shoulder out standing up you do that for two minutes your testosterone goes up 18 your courage vitamin your cortisol level your stress goes down 15 just by doing a superman pose for two minutes my kids my oldest son wanted to get a bench press and i told him i said go in the other room stand like this for two minutes he thought i was freaking nuts i said because your testosterone is gonna rise and your cortisol that’s gonna help you lift he came back got the lift he said you know what you’re not crazy i said no these are little things but are we ever taught to do a superman pose before you go into a big meeting or a you know stressful time no no we should we two minutes you get a natural increase in testosterone decrease in stress it’s those type of things if we can put those modalities into our daily lives it’s incredibly powerful and then all of a sudden you’re compounding all these positive things and and then that identity is right there and you’re continuing to live it so now i i love the you know the energy the passion but just that superman pose two minutes it’s crazy powerful how science has proven it increasing testosterone courage decrease in cortisol or stress and guys i don’t know if you noticed but when you said that i wrote it down i wrote that down and i’m gonna start doing it and that’s what that’s what’s so powerful about these conversations being around for these conversations having these conversations with people that you can that you can start learning how to become the peak person that you are supposed to become because in our recovery we are literally called we have a responsibility to live a life that’s attractive attractive to those that are still suffering guys i know that jeff you actually were giving something away today right you’re giving something away to everybody that’s listening and i want you to tell them about that and why you’re doing it if if you’re i i love connecting with human other human beings i love helping i love guiding in any way i can so anybody in your audience adam who wants to grab 20 minutes on my calendar they can no strengths of chess 100 free would love to talk if i can help guide you in any way i will give you my energy excitement enthusiasm passion in those 20 minutes so feel free to grab a time if you’d love to chat and how i could you know help you in any way possible because listen we do that for more other other people we help we give man this world’s going to be an amazing amazing place i love it so much and what can people expect from from the call because i and guys here’s something that actually came up on my on my group coaching call uh last week that i because i have these links i have these links for people to book these free calls with me because i because i love them i want to help them with where they’re at and some of them feel like you know like well i don’t want to like you know take up your time you’re busy and stuff like that like what does it mean to you when someone gets on this call that is seeking help seeking guidance to reach that peak performance what does it mean to you specifically one i’m gonna celebrate you because that takes courage right to be able to do that to we were led to believe that asking for help is a weakness i say it’s the biggest strength right and and yes that’s so courageous so i’m gonna applaud you i’m gonna i’m gonna celebrate you doing that and then two we’re gonna have an open discussion and i’ll help you any way i can and i have had people that say one 20-minute conversation with you changed the trajectory of my life yes and by that i’m honoring who i am on a daily basis i’m also honoring the late my mother right the memory of her because she was that spark to to get me to this this place yeah i love that so much guys if you have something you know if you have something going on in your life if you want to reach somewhere don’t don’t miss this opportunity don’t miss it that’s 20 minutes that could literally change the trajectory of your life like you guys have heard this conversation we’re going on a very vague basis right what happens when you because i i know the answer to this for myself what happens when someone comes to you on a one-on-one basis and they have something specific going on in their life does that mean that you’re going to probably give them the same stuff that was happening in the show that we’re giving as a broad as a broad audience or what would happen if someone came with something specific to you well one i would listen first and foremost and that’s such a such an important piece to the equation listen here where people are coming from and and then ask for permission if i could give some guidance and if they say yes then give them specific actionable because i’m all about action right we live in the greatest time in the history of the world where we have super computers in our hands we have all the knowledge we’re so confused because there’s so much out there i’ll give you actionable steps that you can put into place we’ll actually go through breathing exercises on the call to center and get us calm and in the present state and then you’ll you’ll be able to take action from it because that’s what that’s what i want yes and i feel like especially the wellness personal development state space hasn’t been doing a good enough job i think the completion rates are like six to seven percent of people that sign up for a course or do something that are actually successful yeah mine’s in the 90th percentile because i have accountability i have consistency i have energy and at the end of the day i care about other human beings 100 you said something there i i originally launched my course as a digital course because i i was i made it really really good like it’s dude it’s i’ll show it to you like it’s i made it really good i spent a lot on production and everything and then a bunch of people bought it you know but then i was like i was reaching out like how’s it going and things like that and like it wasn’t happening like people weren’t actually going through it and it’s not about selling a digital course it never was it was about getting people’s stories out so what i did was i added in the whole coaching pro the whole coaching prospect the coaching element the group coaching the community and everything and i’ve watched that with the success rates going up like crazy now you know when we actually have that time with someone and to close it out i see a comment on here that and i want to see up here and december says as a woman who has been traumatized by porn i want to thank you for bringing awareness to how unhealthy it is and congratulate you on your courage to speak about such a heavy topic december thank you so much for uh for commenting that and uh rather jeff thank you so much for coming we appreciate this conversation it was a great conversation everybody was was talking in the comments with uh getting a ton of value from this brother super excited to be connected with you and thanks for coming man adam so grateful and honored to be here i hope everybody watching or who listens on the replay just they get tremendous value from it and i’ll leave them with this today as a gift you will never get back again use it to the fullest um love you guys so much keep living