Overcoming Obstacles: Where the rubber meets the road
At some point in our addiction and addiction recovery, there comes a time where we have to make a choice about how to respond to painful trials.
Friends we love may be taken by the disease, we may lose our job, or we have a relationship that breaks up. How do we move forward from these obstacles and continue on our purpose and our mission?
Today I share some obstacles I have faced in life in recovery and ways I have overcome and continue to work on being an overcomer.
If you would like to learn more about Recovered On Purpose, see the merch shop with t-shirts and more, get your free copy of Adam’s book, or book a call with Adam, visit https://recoveredonpurpose.org
Read The Transcript Below
what’s up recovered on purpose family good morning good morning thank god it’s monday welcome to the recovered on purpose show motivational mondays guys today is overcoming obstacles where the rubber meets the road we’re gonna be talking about obstacles that we have to overcome in our addiction and in our recovery how we can get through them and the core four for finding that freedom love you guys so much keep living recovered on purpose the black represents the darkness from which we came the white represents the light in which we now live and the red represents the passion it takes to live recovered on purpose
good morning good morning good morning everybody happy monday happy monday today is the start of a new week guys and i decided that we’re going to be talking about overcoming obstacles today obstacles that we face in our addiction obstacles we face in our recovery and ways that we can move move through them with power you know and and keep moving towards our dreams keep moving towards you know being able to be of service to people even through our obstacles that we’re having let me know where you’re coming in from let me know uh what your clean and sober date is we always celebrate clean and sober time we gotta be you know supporting each other with the time that we have because a lot of times there’s somebody watching there is somebody watching that you know doesn’t know that recovery is possible for them they’ve been struggling like where a lot of us were they’re struggling right now with you know i don’t know if i’m ever going to get out of this i don’t know if i’m ever going to be able to quit using drugs so us that are in these lives us that are sharing our stories on social media we have to be continually letting them know that it’s possible by sharing where we’re at in our recovery sharing things that we’re doing in our recovery sharing the time that we have and today we’re going to be talking about you know a lot of people talk about the rainbows butterflies and bunnies of recovery i do a lot because there’s a lot of rainbows there’s a lot of butterflies and there’s a lot of bunnies in recovery but a lot of us have a lot of obstacles that we face in our recovery also so i’m gonna hop in the comments what’s up jackie good to see you good morning good morning patricia coming in from sacramento november 12th 2020 let’s go let’s go i used to live in uh elk grove really close to uh like basically in sacramento i guess and uh had a good time there knocked doors and something i learned there is that in california they uh the mcdonald’s is are forced to put signs on the windows that say our food causes cancer so that was something i had never seen before good morning good morning kenda good to see you good to see you all where are y’all coming in from jackie where are you i remember you told me a little bit ago but i feel like maybe louisiana kenda where are you at so in our recovery right we have we’re living life again and life is not all about the beautiful and wonderful things that are going on right sometimes we have some difficult moments that we have to push through no matter what because no matter what we can’t go back to drugs and alcohol that used to be our solution our solution to things that came up our solution to obstacles our solution to depression anxiety these feelings that we have you know when somebody passes away when something bad happens we would resort to drugs and alcohol every time we can’t do that anymore that’s not an option so how do we overcome these obstacles how do we get through these obstacles and what’s a good way to you know continue to grow in our recovery even through the obstacles even through the obstacles yeah yeah i uh i didn’t know that either but then i went through mcdonald’s and then i have not been to i think i’ve maybe eaten mcdonald’s maybe twice in my recovery in the last five years and that sign is a lot of what did it for me it solidified it we all know that you know though it’s not good for us they don’t they don’t make food to make us healthy right but i don’t know uh california just made a law that they had to post that up coming in from canada let’s go let’s go good morning from arkansas what’s up jennifer good to see you modesto california 20 20. let’s go let’s go christy four days that’s good i mean let’s go let’s go there’s work to be done and we’re gonna be talking about some ways to overcome obstacles today the ways that we overcome obstacles in our recovery because even at four days or at four years we all have these times that we’re going through these hard times that we’re going through that we have to push through in in early recovery what i found is that these hard times felt like they were much closer together they were much closer together maybe i’m feeling depressed or maybe you know i’m looking at the world in a way where there’s a lot of bad things happening all over the place a lot of times because of who i was surrounding myself with and what my habits were in my addiction so in early recovery these things are still coming at us and we got to figure out how to move through it without going back to the habits that we had formed in our addiction or in our relapse don’t pick up no matter what amen elizabeth coming in from indiana good to see you good to see you terry coming in from indiana indiana coming in strong let’s go let’s go good to see you too adam you’re the man you’re the woman you’re the woman jennifer good to see you ohio in the house amen and so back in the day i don’t remember i was probably in you know fourth fifth grade something like that and i had to remember all the uh all the state’s capitals all the capitals of all the states and the way that i would do this i would come up with little funny quips or things that would make me remember them and for ohio what i said was you know when columbus came to america he said ohio america and that’s kind of what i don’t know good morning from livingston montana what’s up wendy livingston love livingston got sober in billings you know this good morning there’s sunshine 12 21 20. good to see you brandi good to see you thanks for coming in i had 14 months so i know i can do it again and today’s topic is exactly what i need awesome christy and guys if you have any obstacles that you are facing right now if you’re facing obstacles in your recovery if you’re in addiction right now and you’re facing obstacles that you’re that you’re trying to get clean make sure you’re commenting them so that we can talk about them there’s a lot of people on this live that will be able to help you with that as well as i can give you my own ideas for obstacles that you’re going through i’ve got some banners put up that we’re going to be talking about got a little direction we’re gonna go to in today um good morning from washington state 605 a.m blessed with two gifts today my eyes opened amen pam pam is staying strong coming in the recovery community and she’s got what i think nine years or more uh maybe it’s 14 years i know that you’ve got a lot of time and you’re coming you’re coming in and you’re still supporting this community you’re still letting people know that it’s possible and i’m super proud of you good morning greg good morning my brother and my family here i’m back in pensacola after traveling and speaking at churches across the country much love my friends amen brother isolation patricia so isolation that is something that a lot of us resort to and there’s two kinds of isolation there is isolation from the world in order to self you know in order to think about bad thoughts in order to think about you know i can’t be around people because i’m not good enough or or that kind of stuff and then there’s also positive isolation i have times where i absolutely turn my phone on you know do not disturb i’m not online i’m not talking to anybody because i’m isolating myself to recharge it might seem like i’m an extrovert like because i’m able to talk to people i love interacting with people i like to get up here and talk to people and everything but in reality i’m actually charged my energy is charged alone with god whether i’m thinking about something or if i need some sleep or exercising working out that kind of stuff i have to do for myself in isolation without the thought of everything else and everybody else’s life going on right so depending on what the isolation is if you are noticing that the isolation is something that you are doing to escape from life escape from reality then what we got to do is get around some people it’s perfect that you’re here right now it’s perfect that this is uh you know this is a really great community there’s a lot of people in this live there’s a lot of people on you know all the posts and everything on this page that will talk to you you know you could probably talk to every single person on this live right now and message with them they’ll have conversations with you and then i love my fellowships i i love the aas the nas the cas the ahas all the a’s that you know i qualify for all of them and the beautiful thing is that every single place where we are we can find a recovery meeting and stop isolating and isolation is a very very you know it’s a it’s a sign that we’re thinking about going back if we’re doing isolation in a negative way so the way to push through this is you gotta just go be around some people be around some positive people we don’t need to resort to attachment to the people from the past that were you know that are addicts that are still using we don’t want to go back to using so we don’t want to surround ourselves with people that are using so the best thing that we can do is go surround ourselves with people in recovery for a while go go to two meetings a day go to three meetings a day you know there’s nothing wrong with going and sitting in a room listening to other people you don’t even have to talk until you’re ready you don’t even have to say hi to anybody until you’re ready but being in that room being around those people and hearing that message will help out a lot so let’s do this i definitely need the message today 73 days today let’s go wendy let’s go i’m proud of you proud of you biggest is my ex getting custody after a long cps battle and i did everything i was supposed to living in the ghetto and difficulty getting work man that’s obstacles that is definitely obstacles and what we have to do when we continue to move forward in our recovery when we continue to do the right thing when we continue to progress in ourselves right when we focus on ourselves there is nothing wrong with focusing on bettering ourselves on making ourselves the the highest possible potential that we can live in this moment right i’ve had and we’re going to go into it but i’ve had some obstacles i i don’t have kids so i can only imagine what that what that feels like if your dream if your vision if your desire is to have more time with them we have to start becoming someone and working on someone and continuing to work on someone no matter what happens with that and the results we can’t attach the results of something to the actions that we take there’s there’s a lot to talk about with failure and success right i have heard many many many stories like this one and then the person continued to do the best that they could to better themselves continue to work on themselves continue to you know get even better jobs and get even better friends and get even better fellowships and continue to do bigger and bigger things with themselves get healthier go to the gym eating all this stuff and then all of a sudden when they get that that two-hour visitation that they get per week that’s monitored right everybody involved everybody involved sees this person that is continuing to progress that’s continuing to be better that’s continuing to have good things to talk about with their kids and be a good influence on their kids and soon soon there’s going to be a time where your ex you know needs some time i i know a lot of people that have kids that need a break sometimes right that need a break and we want to be in a place where we are ready to have an environment to have the kids right now there’s a lot of people just in the last live that i did uh i think was friday someone came in and was talking about how for the first time in years they had their kids for two weeks you know and this is something we can aspire towards and we just have to keep working on ourselves may 25th yep i knew it nine years nine years one day at a time palm springs cali here 45 days let’s go let’s go desiree super proud of you let’s keep moving my biggest trigger is guilt or shame myself and from others so guilt and shame that is that’s not from god that is not from god guilt comes from something from the past right and and shame shame and guilt are both from things from the past and i actually have a banner for this let’s go here let’s go here your addiction is not your identity your past is not your identity what you’ve done up to this point is not your identity your identity and what you’re able to do right now is what you do period now the best way to overcome shame and guilt the best way to overcome shame and guilt is always going to be being the person that you believe you should be right what do i mean by that i mean that when we have something that we want to do or we have something that we want to cut out of our lives we do this thing or we stop doing this thing and for a lot of us that means a lot of different things right maybe we maybe we had you know the shame of using drugs and the things we did to get drugs we used to steal if we sell our bodies if we used to you know sell drugs in order to get drugs you know and we’re we’re guilt we feel guilt and shame for these things that we used to do obviously we can’t do those anymore but who are we becoming today in order for that identity to not come into today that used to be what we did but that’s not who we are that’s not who we are now in our recovery our addiction is not our identity i will never say that you know i am an addict i say i am a recovered addict every single time that i speak about it i don’t identify with my addiction with my disease i identify with someone who has recovered from this disease and i live that every day by doing the things that someone that has recovered from addiction would do waking up in the morning today i went on a walk this morning i just woke up i didn’t have time for the gym um because i wanted to i wanted to have something different today so i got up i put earphones in and i walked around all over my neighborhood in colombia and listened to some motivational some motivational sounds some motivational people speaking and got some water got some coffee and i just walked around and just thought about things i breathed real deep and just got in a place where i felt that you know someone that was doing what i was doing would do i wanted to get up i wanted to get moving and i wanted to listen to positive things in my mind so that’s going to help a lot with with what we’re doing you know we want to be able to put positive things into our mind you know you in your recovery in your recovery you have an opening to be and become anyone and anything that you desire to be it’s not as easy as a lot of people put it to just overcome the guilt and shame and one of the best things if not the best thing that i have done to overcome guilt and shame is the fourth and the fifth step of the 12 steps as outlined in the big book of alcoholics anonymous now if you have not done this yet and you’re in recovery and you’re struggling with things inside of the mind you’re struggling with you know depression thinking that you’re not good enough you’re thinking you know you think about the past a lot and what you used to do you think about this person that you are the really cool thing about the fourth and fifth step is we find out where all of this is coming from from the past right it could be something that someone did to us that makes us feel like that’s who we are maybe we got molested as a kid and now we think that we’re unlovable unworthy you know maybe we hurt someone when we were 11 years old pushed someone in a pool and they almost died and we still we we carry that with us into our recovery but what we have to do is we have to become aware of these things and when we admit them to god to ourselves and to another human being something happens in that exchange when we write them all out we write them all out correctly as outlined in the big book that’s the best place that i’ve found for this specific work and then we talk to somebody about them and something happens in that process where we release so much of that stuff and then we also find some people that are in our lives from our past or in our present that we need to make amends to and the immense process is where so much freedom comes from so much freedom and if we’re still dealing with shame guilt anything like that anything from the past of our addiction that means that we’re missing something and the first thing when you start a fourth step or you start an inventory you always want to write the thing down that you are telling yourself i don’t know if i should write that i don’t want to tell anybody that write it down that’s the first thing you should always write down so
let’s go back up here
man it’s good to see everybody it’s good to see everybody amen adam i didn’t know that there was isolation types wow yeah desiree july rocks amen amen i will always message back if someone needs to talk or needs help i got three years and counting sober let’s go elizabeth guys that’s what’s so beautiful about we’re doing what we’re doing together on the on the internet us in the recovery community have an opportunity to connect with people that you know were never we were never able to connect with before the state of the internet today we are doing a live right now i’m the one that’s holding live and i’m talking and stuff like that right every single person in this live right now is someone that you can reach out to is someone that you can talk to it’s someone that would be happy to hear from you right we only keep what we have by giving it away we only get to continue to feel this this good and and you know positive recovery by giving it away to somebody by talking to someone that’s suffering and especially with shame and guilt one of the best things you can do is help someone else do something completely selfless do something where you know go serve at a homeless shelter or go to a meeting and find someone that you know needs to help needs help moving i’ve done that a lot in my recovery i helped someone that you know she was moving into her first ever apartment on her own right and she came into a meeting and made an announcement you know i need i need help moving and i’m someone that like i love the feeling of helping someone move because i know how expensive it can be to hire a moving company and everything and i also know that divorce and moving are two of the most stressful times that we go through on a on in our lives just moving is the most stressful thing so i figure if i can come bring a couple cool friends make it a fun process you know and and move everything for him then that’s a beautiful thing and what i what i get from that myself is just this this feeling of selflessness this feeling where i’m contributing this feeling where i’m being a good person so you know get out there and and serve get out there and serve yes me too girl you’re beautiful girl keep your head up you’re worth amen amen appreciate you very very much thank you amen congratulations that’s awesome thank you you’re very welcome success isn’t built in one day spectacular but but on an everyday routine amen greg that’s exactly what we’re gonna get into it says that you know we i mean even if we we bring god into monday motivation right now he took six days to create the planet you know and he had the ability to speak everything into existence everything in his mind he had the ability to speak into existence but he took the time took the care to do it correctly you know someone that could infinitely create everything ever in an instant he took six days then on the seventh day he rested you hear the saying that rome wasn’t built in a day of course not our recovery wasn’t built in a day overcoming shame guilt being able to being someone that is overcoming obstacles being someone that is not letting failure you know take us back not letting failure pull us down but letting these failures help us towards success that is the that is the number one thing that the that we need to be looking at when we have a an obstacle a failure you know something that comes up in our recovery that you know feels like it’s wrong and it’s hurting us right if we are connected with god we are living how we believe we’re supposed to be living and that means that you know we know if we’re doing something that we shouldn’t be doing you know for you i know for me if you are living with god living the way you believe you’re supposed to be living when something doesn’t happen as you planned it or you wanted it to happen it’s not supposed to it’s not supposed to if you fail at something that is a lesson to learn from why did that fail why did that suck so much to do why did i hate that so much well maybe that means that you weren’t supposed to be doing that in the first place so never do that thing again i had a friend that did a uh did a summit an online summit and had like like 700 registrations and people were showing up and everything but the whole process was just stressing her out so much she hated the fact that she was doing this summit and she was like i have all these other things that i could be doing i took over a month doing this i you know i i’m talking her in the middle of this and she’s like this really like really successful um she helps people with taxes and helps people with wealth building and everything and she’s she’s struggling with the fact that she’s in this summit that she’s hating right now and how much time she took into this right and she never wants to do it again and i was like perfect that is exactly the way that we want to be looking at it the lesson in this is that maybe this summit model is not the best for your business so all this time you know what if what if it would have gone okay you know what if the what if that thing that you were working on would have been okay and then you know well i’ll do another one it went okay i’ll do another one then all of a sudden you are adding this thing into your life this whole system this whole process of building these summits and everything that you’re not really happy with but it’s okay so what if god was just saying you know put in all the work see how much this takes see how much you hate it so that you never do this again that could be a closed door that failure of all that time and everything is actually a lesson that you learn to save yourself infinite time in the future and this can be looked at for anything in our recovery or anything maybe you know maybe we were working at a job right we’re working there for two and a half years three years or something we’re working towards a promotion we we interview for the promotion and we don’t get it and we think well dang you know i’ve been working so hard on this you know and well this job you know maybe you haven’t actually wanted to be in this job for a long time you’ve actually what you’ve wanted to do is this thing over here maybe it’s photography maybe it’s your new business maybe you’ve always wanted to get your recovery coaching certification maybe you’ve always wanted to be a addictions counselor you know and maybe the fact that they didn’t choose you for the promotion that means that in your free time you’re going to be getting this certificate you’re going to be getting this degree you’re still going to be here for another you know six months year whatever it takes but you are working on this other thing because what you learned from this process is that this is not for you this is not for you which is a perfect place to be awareness is perfect and if we look at a closed door as a failure instead of instead of a lesson teaching us where we’re supposed to go we’re going to be constantly in a place of you know morbidity just not not enjoying life right i can empathize with you i’ve lost my kids at cps 11 years ago but got them back almost a year later just keep doing the right thing your kids will notice and know even when others don’t amen thank you for saying that wendy you’re exactly you’re exactly one of the people that i’m talking about there are this happens so much this happens so much and because we lost custody right now that doesn’t mean that we give up the fight that doesn’t mean well that doesn’t mean you don’t take on that identity that you are not a good mother you don’t take on the identity that you’re not worthy of their time you don’t take on that identity you continue to work on the identity that you have already said of yourself that you are deserving you are worthy and you work on that you become better and better and better absolutely welcome i’m up here in the tri-cities washington and we just had our 34th local summer sizzler event this past weekend and it was a blast i always volunteer in the hospitality room as i absolutely love meeting people amen it’s been 60 years since i’ve had custody it’s been a difficult road but thankfully i have five months of family maintenance to try and get custody back amen christy so rock it girl rock it don’t don’t just focus on that though focus on yourself and things that you need to be doing to be the best person when you walk in there maybe it’s exercise maybe it’s hobbies maybe it’s uh food maybe it’s you know counseling maybe you know there’s different things that you know that would would increase your your potential would increase your value right and that’s your there’s two different things there’s two different types of value each one of our value is infinite and incredible and the exact same to god right i’m i’m working on things to increase my value to communities that i speak to right when i am increasing my value with you know by going to the gym by studying by reading constantly by you know looking up these different things that are going on at colleges that they need a speaker for you know uh and doing all these things to increase my value so that when i have a message for them you know i am i am worthy of giving that message to them so how can we increase our value as a person that will be looked up to as from kids right what can we do right now christy what can we do right now and do it as a habit you know because again rome wasn’t built in a day a super valuable person isn’t built in a day right so what things can you start consuming into your mind videos uh podcasts books you know what can we start consuming in the mind that makes us that when we show up we are we are good to go we are good to go it’s obvious the change that’s been made in this right thank you that helped me a lot i need to hear that just lost a friend i’m sorry kelly i’m sorry kelly and yeah so because of that conversation we’re gonna go over these banners and
how do i get through my friends relapsing so there’s there’s a few things right with this conversation and some you know some friends relapse and they don’t come back some friends relapse and they’re continuing to use and what do we do with that and then also some friends you know might pass away that didn’t even relapse something else completely different happened and that’s what happened uh for me and when i was right at six months clean and sober and i do have something else that i’m gonna put up and this is the reality of living in recovery okay get two suits or two dresses when you find recovery one suit or one dress is gonna be for celebrations when you are celebrating your own uh years your anniversaries you know you always wear this thing you’re always looking good you’re always feeling good because you’re celebrating the the time that you’re getting in recovery the other dress or the other suit is gonna be for the funerals that we attend that’s the reality of addiction that’s the reality of recovery and we have to be people that will show up for those we have to become the people that are willing to show up and be the example of recovery is still possible even though my friend passed away even though i’m watching this even though i’m here at this funeral recovery is still possible for the people in that room that are struggling with addiction and here’s the thing that’s that’s another opportunity you know if someone overdoses and dies and they have a funeral for them right there’s going to be people in recovery that come there’s going to be people that are still using coming and what better place what better opportunity to talk to someone struggling than someone that is at a funeral of someone that passed away from the thing they’re struggling from there are there are so many ways right that we need to show up in our recovery and be ready be ready always to be that person and i hate it guys i hate this disease i hate how many people are dying i hate fentanyl i hate it it is it is evil it is something that is killing kids it’s killing you know friends it almost killed me and there’s no it’s not doing any good for anybody it’s not doing it i hate it so much but does that mean that i’m just going to sit and hate it and sulk and be be depressed that it exists no heck no when someone dies from an overdose am i going to you know sit and sit in sadness for too long no am i going to take time to myself am i going to take time to overcome this yes guys we’re going to take a quick 30 second break and then we’re going to go into the core 4 to moving through trials love you guys see you in a few seconds what’s up recovered on purpose family i hope you’re enjoying this episode as much as i do when i’m making them guys if you’re getting any value from this if you’re seeing any golden nuggets that you want to share with your community make sure that you are you’re sharing it with your groups you’re sharing it with your personal page or your pages or to that one person that you’re thinking of right now and their messenger so that they get this message and guys the brand new recovered on purpose website is up and it has a whole bunch of different merchandise and resources and the free calls with me so make sure you’re checking out recoveredonpurpose.com after the show and if you are a loved one of an addict if you have a kid that’s suffering an addiction i’m now doing free calls that we can strategize and find out how we can get them clean and keep them clean love you guys so much and enjoy the rest of the show all right all right and that’s something new that i’m doing i’m looking for you know i’m constantly working on more and more ways to help the addict that’s still suffering right and right now they’re i’m working on some things down here in colombia and i’m doing phone calls with parents to either connect them to the resources that i have in the states or if it would work for what i’m doing down here in columbia so if you know anybody that’s still struggling with fentanyl i would love to talk to love to talk to them all right brandy coming in decided to do a second intense working of the steps with a new sponsor because it felt like the right thing to do i noticed i was building many grudges and resentments towards my boyfriend he’s still an act of addiction i’m not bath i am baffled not applying it toward my alcoholism i feel my very thorough first one i cleared so much so i am so baffled at what to lost besides relationship specific stuff trying to go deeper and i’m feeling like it’s the first time what to list etc i feel you brandi i mean i’m five years into my recovery um almost five years i’ve got you know two and a half months left until i have five years and i’ve i’ve done the steps four and a half times i just did my my uh fifth step like two months ago and it’s really it’s a really great process it’s a really great process and brandy i think that you know with someone that is still an active addiction depending on what the relationship is like how long it’s been what the plans are for it what your plan is for your life what your plan is for your future um you know there’s always there’s always decisions to be made there’s healthy decisions to be made that are good for everybody personally i you know i don’t know i don’t know what i would do i don’t know what i would do um if i was in early recovery i just don’t i wasn’t someone that could be in a relationship so i don’t even know you know what it would be like to be the person getting clean and then this person is still using right and if that happened i i don’t know how long i would be able to stay in a relationship that is still you know doing this thing right the best thing to do is always continue bettering ourselves it’s always to continue you know focusing on god ourselves and what we’re supposed to do with the world what we’re supposed to do in the world and as we’re doing that we’ll get answers more clear and if if i’m with somebody personally for me if i’m with somebody that cannot go where i’m going with me can’t help me get there and i can’t help them get to where they’re going then i can’t stay yoked with them that’s just that’s just me i’m not willing to you know work on something that isn’t going to work period that’s me my the best suggestions would be continue to work on yourself and get the answers revealed to you continue bettering yourself and get the answers revealed to you also there is a uh i did an episode um with courtney anderson from sober vibes that i would check out i would check out some of that because we talked about how you know she actually ended up marrying her boyfriend at the time who she made an ultimatum with but she did it in a really healthy way that actually ended up getting him clean and sober also so i would watch that episode i would check that episode out you can watch it on youtube or find it on here it’s easier to find on youtube um but she can give you some suggestions also amen amen kelly i needed you too we love you so much good morning opal good to see you good to see you yes i’ve been to two funerals so far this year for childhood friends that overdosed i have such a hate for drugs amen brother amen yes i’m doing my step work a second time now amen ernie amen and this is coming from you know i’m christian i know ernie’s christian and we have this relationship with god you know i’ve got my bible right here and all of that helps i love my connection with jesus i love my relationship with jesus my relationship to my disease my relationship to you know being able to help others you know a system that really helps others that are struggling with exactly what i struggled with for me it’s the 12 steps it’s just something that is simplified it’s from a lot of it’s from the bible period and when we can have a simplified version to share with others as well as share with ourselves you know that it helps helps my people helps my people
pam good morning sorry i’m late i slept in good it’s good to sleep in sometimes i’m living my new recovery story right now i got to find out how much cancer is in my liver this week been sober two and a half years so this is weird god has a plan though i’ll watch the replay to see the beginning of this live pam we love you so much we love you and you know overcoming you know i i went through this with my dad i haven’t really been super public about it but uh yeah i at the beginning of 2020 found out my dad was battling cancer and i was taking him the cool thing was that i was able to show up for it this is something i was able to show up for i was there i was picking him up and i was taking him to the hospital i was taking him from the hospital to home and i was i was spending time with him i was i was going out and going shopping for him and all these things you know while he was going through this process he had he had a lot of it and you know he made it through and being able to being able to be there for him and that and showing up for that was an incredible incredible blessing because of how many things that i missed in my addiction how many things that i that i wasn’t able to show up for whether it was the funeral of my of my cousin that i loved so much that did so many good things that i wasn’t able to show up for because i was sick on dope i wasn’t able to show up for my other cousin’s wedding you know i wasn’t about to go up there and be you know like rolling eyes and stuff i was too embarrassed and being able to show up for these things and continuing to move forward doing the things that we have to do um god blesses that god 100 blesses that and pam we love you in jesus name we just pray nothing but blessing unto you we command cancer in jesus name you are not welcome and god we ask for you to put your holy spirit in the hearts of all the doctors and everybody that she will be connected to that will be there to help her god we ask for your ministering angels to continue to work in the hearts work in the minds and work it with the hands of the people that will ever touch her and help her with this and god we just command it to leave her in every process that will be used and jesus we thank you for always answering prayers as soon as we mutter them god so god i just ask that you’d give her courage bless her with endurance god patient endurance and god bless her with relationship with you through this and let her god just grow deeper with you and let this be a miracle god let her testimony of overcoming this be a miracle that god you of you god and with this miracle with this testimony she will bring more people to you we thank you jesus for doing this we thank you for the opportunity to be talking about this and so many different countries all over the world right now and god we love you so much and thank you in your name amen amen amen amen i spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me 12 steps to get to heaven amen pam amen i brandi my husband and i have been together 18 years and are doing recovery together again we both have sets of boundaries for each other message me anytime girl yeah there you go there’s some good there’s some good people to connect with in here good people to connect with in here keep climbing keep climbing amen amen morning everybody good morning good morning good to see you kyle how you doing brother the things i’ve missed in my life because of active addiction i know bro i know it is absolutely crazy it is absolutely crazy but the beautiful thing is each and every person in here has time we have time right now we’re in recovery we have time you know to live in recovery so what are we going to do with it now there’s so many things we can do amen amen love you pam my mom went through several phases
taking her 15 plus years ago but she is pain free amen amen god hear our prayers bless pam with the holy spirit and strength keep climbing amen doing my great my dude amen brother good to see you we’re here today okay let’s go into the core four to moving through trials okay these are the four things that you know i’ve found for me help me a lot and i know that they help you too period if you do these four things when you’re going through a trial not only will you make it through the trial but you’ll learn from it also you’ll be able to access the lessons from the trial as you’re moving through it so number one is journaling this is and i know it seems simple it seems you know hoopla or whatever but journaling every day through a trial will help your perspective will help you understand what’s actually going on and will help you to move through it and when you can look back right when you have a date at the top of a page and you say today i’m feeling this way this way this way i’m thinking this way because this is happening in my life right now what i’m deciding to do today is this you know and you so you you actually get out what you know what’s going on the trial that you’re going through maybe you know let’s use this as an example you know i have you know four months clean and sober and my ex or my or my boyfriend or girlfriend is still using i don’t really know what i’m gonna do with this what i’m deciding to do right now is this it makes me feel you know that i you know i don’t know what to do for him i don’t know how to help him and i don’t know if i should continue because of you know i want this in my life and then you write that out and then as you write that and then you write what you’re deciding to do today maybe i’m deciding today that i’m going to work on my health deciding today that i’m going to finish my step work so i can sponsor other women to see how that helps um i’m going to do this i don’t like the career i’m in right now so i’m going to start working on this you know and you write out that trial then you write out the things that you’re going to do and then the next day you write out you know what’s going on today you know yesterday i actually went to the gym for the first time and the way that i feel today about it i feel energized i feel you know good i’m a little sore but it makes me feel good about myself and then as you write that out you’re like holy cow well if the gym is giving me this kind of results it’s giving me this kind of feelings you know maybe i should continue that you know because maybe you decided you know i wanted to look for another job and you’re finding that you know right now is not the best time for that right now i need to focus on my health so then all of a sudden you know what what you need to do and then as you’re moving through this and as you’re becoming this better person imagine the day if you are keeping this journal every day about this trial you’re going through then imagine today you’re like well my boyfriend came up to me today and he told me that because of the way that i’m acting because of the way that i’m being he really wants to get clean and sober because he doesn’t want to lose me so what we decided to do is he’s leaving for treatment today you know what if you had the opportunity to write that down and then you’re still keeping the you’re still keeping the journal you’re still keeping it about you know the time that he’s in there and what you’re doing while he’s in there you know maybe you’re going to the gym about the conversations you have while he’s in there if you’re able to talk the calls and things that you have with each other and then imagine having this journal three years down the road when you guys are married he’s got three years clean and sober you’ve got three and a half years clean and sober or whatever and imagine that having that journal to look back on right and in that process you are learning about yourself you’re learning about yourself you’re learning what you can do to continue to move forward towards your goals towards what you want for your life so journaling is really really key for getting through trial number two time it’s okay to take time sometimes you know when we’re going through a trial we have to be patient patient endurance withstands all trials patient endurance so whatever’s going on you know we don’t have to expect it to be gone tomorrow we don’t have to expect it to be gone the next day you know but as long as we’re patient and we endure through it we continue to do the things that we know we’re supposed to be doing we continue to work on the things that we want to be doing right if it’s going to the gym if it’s you know eating healthy if it’s i’m always talking about health because i know that for me i know that for everybody and it’s just science if you are working on your health if you’re working on things that make your body move that make your body get healthier your mindset follows period emotion is e motion getting our bodies in motion emotions of you know the the sad and the down and everything that that emotion is it causes us to have this kind of motion like like you know like not moving a lot the the joy the power the passion all that comes from moving getting movement going getting you know getting exercising going on a long walk going on a jog you know going on a hike going to the gym these things cause emotions in us of gratitude power happiness joy freedom from the locks of of you know depression and things like that so health is always a really good thing to work on and again if you go to the gym and you come home and you look in the mirror you’re not going to have a six pack right away so patient endurance as we’re going through this trial of whatever it is if we want to use the example of you know a friend passing away um at six months okay six months clean and sober one of my top three best friends in my life right from eighth grade on passed away randomly it was not overdose he he basically had this uh this skin disease when we were freshman in college where um it was called stephen johnson syndrome he had a reaction to penicillin and he was in the hospital we had he had to go to the burn unit and stuff and you know his whole body was covered with with like burns basically is what it looked like it looked like he was in a fire but he made it through there was like a one percent chance and he was the one out of a hundred that survived this and then all of a sudden we are ten years later you know we’ve spent this whole time together we’ve done a whole bunch of stuff together we’ve done disneyland trips and disney world trips and things like that together and then i’m six months clean and sober and i had been reconnecting with him right and he uh went to bed one night and he didn’t wake up and what the what they said was that there was like a some complication from the stephen johnson syndrome 10 years before on his heart and so here i am six months clean and sober one of my best friends you know that i hadn’t been able to be really close to in the last couple years because my addiction was so bad you know i was reconnecting with him for the last four three four months when i moved back to denver and then and then i lose him right for two weeks for two weeks i couldn’t get out of bed could not get out of bed now that’s okay sometimes it’s okay to take the time that you need in order to heal right or in order to get to a point where you can heal i’m not somebody that is going to tell you you know when you when you lose somebody that you care about deeply you know it’s like oh get up get up and get out there and go do this and go do that go do this right that’s how you get through it now sometimes we need time and then we have to pick the time and we’re going to move through it then we have to pick the time that we’re ready to get up we’re ready to go to the gym we’re ready to you know continue working i was able to speak at his funeral i was able to be there for him in this way that i had never been there for someone before in my in my life so as i’m looking at this right i i never i never thought of you know using i never thought of well maybe i should just pick up right because i i knew that that would dishonor him so much i knew that you know if i’m if i’m using his death as an excuse to use drugs then that takes away all the power of our relationship all the love that and the opportunity i had to spend those last four months with him right so i took the time i needed and then i got back at it got back in the gym got back doing everything and it’s healthy time is key to healing wounds to healing and getting through trials right
wendy thank you if you’re cool i’d love to chat a little more get some insight and suggestions yes yes yes patience is a virtue sometimes sometimes it is yes adam i needed some prayers right now my daughter has five years in recovery her best friend relapses my daughter is out there trying to find her friend to help her to get the treatment just praying that my daughter can stay strong for her recovery prayers needed god we just send her out with your holy spirit in jesus name god we ask that you would uh would get put a hedge of protection around her first of all her god we ask that the enemy not have any windows into her have no uh portals into her to get her to use again because god we know that with your strength we can go out and we can help people we know that we have that strength now to go out and help so god we just come against any thoughts about that because that is not what’s happening here uh she is going with your light everywhere she goes right now jesus and we thank you that she is gonna find her and she’s gonna be able to help her god thank you for this god we love you in jesus name amen amen amen amen number three
number three discipline discipline now discipline is it’s a virtue also as well as as well as patience right and discipline to what we know we need to do depending on the trial you know there’s a lot of different trials we can be going through in our in our addiction and our recovery and depending on which one is the discipline that we need to stick to if the trial is for instance you know i didn’t get the promotion i didn’t get the promotion i i wanted it so bad i’ve been working towards it and i don’t know what to do i don’t know what i’m gonna do okay what does discipline say what does wisdom say that we should do in that instance right does it say that we should sulk and we should you know just stick in this job and stick in this place in this position that we know that we’re better than we see ourselves as more valuable than that no what that means is we’re going to be disciplined and we’re going to start working towards the career we really want we’re going to start working towards you know the the certifications for the coaching or the you know the recovery uh counselors and things like that whatever it is that we want to do we’re going to start moving towards that with discipline if we’re going through a trial of health right if we’re going through a trial of health whatever actions that can be taken by us to move through this health complication this health trial right we need to be doing those we need to be eating right we need to be you know taking care of our bodies correctly we need to be taking care of our minds correctly being disciplined through a trial is is key first we take the time that we need if it’s a friend passing if it’s something devastating if it’s loss of a of a relationship if it’s something that’s really emotionally devastating we can take the time okay but we’re not going to allow ourselves to take that time that we’re resting to to heal a little bit a little bit of time we have to have a set time amount right two weeks for me was really long that was a really long time but i could feel that i needed it the whole time because i literally like i didn’t even want to answer my phone for people i didn’t want to talk to people right unless it was his family or unless it was friends that you know were all of us right all of us friends and um you know once it got to a point where i could get out of bed i had to get back into my routine i had to get back into going to the gym i had to get back into you know being there reading my bible journaling all these things because i knew that that’s what was most honoring to him also you know like being there being able to be there for his funeral being able to be there for his family and our friends and everything as someone that you know i i wasn’t using drugs anymore that’s that’s a huge huge part of being able to show up not falling back to using drugs or alcohol and being that example of recovery as possible you know i was absolutely talking to some friends at that time that were still using i was talking because i had to reconnect with a bunch of people you know to let them know i was the one that had to let a bunch of people know about my one of my best friends passing i had to call someone that was in treatment i had to talk to someone that was in treatment that i grew up with and uh you know it’s it’s a hard thing but being able to be there for them and be the one on the other line that is able to talk to someone you know without the the cloud and the haze of drugs and alcohol was an incredible incredible honor it was an honor so discipline discipline and moving forward now number four spiritual connection through trials with perseverance and prayer we can overcome anything we can overcome anything and if we are continuing to remain spiritually connected using these principles that we’ve learned in our recovery journey this foundation of recovery in the spirit right if it’s journaling if it’s reading the bible if it’s prayer if it’s meditation if it’s all of these things every trial that we go through that we do the spiritual connection principles that we know of every trial we go through we will grow through period there is no there is no thing that can happen in our life that is you know that is a difficulty that is a trial that is an obstacle that is a loss of a relationship that is a loss of a friend a pa of a death none of these things can happen without us growing through them if we remain connected with god period and i’m not saying this in a way like like you know we gotta be care i’m saying this because it’s true i’m not even gonna i’m not even gonna sugarcoat it i am i am super sad about you know my friend’s passing i’ve even got his uh literally this is his guitar tattooed on me right here it’s a picture of his guitar i used to get tattooed on me and you know i have used that message i’ve grown with that message because there’s only one thing that i’ve done perfectly over the last almost five years i haven’t picked up haven’t drank that’s it everything else you know and for those two weeks that’s literally all i could do when i was in bed and i couldn’t get up right all i could do was not go pick up all i could do was not drink right sometimes that’s enough and through that process i actually got a really strong emotional muscle that i had never had before because every other time that a friend had passed in my life i used drugs i used alcohol i i had to get through it with these with these coping mechanisms that i had learned now at this point through through my friend’s passing i i built another muscle i stayed connected with god i was extremely extremely sad but i didn’t resort to drugs and alcohol and through that i was able to i grew i grew i knew that i could get through things now and as much as it sucks losing a friend you know we’ve got to be ready to stay connected with god and move through it right amen amen amen god send her with a recovery army amen amen praying for both of them amen journaling time discipline spiritual connection amen brother yes dm me girl let’s go spiritual connection amen i’m so grateful to be centered in spirituality amen brother amen amen thank you so much of course opal we love you we love you me too that was my coping skill for so long amen brother it’s just true we learned that we learned that now happiness is in the progress of moving towards our dream okay happiness is never going to be something that we attain sorry doesn’t happen we’re never going to be able to grasp onto happiness and you know put it in here put it in our pocket and keep it and then just go on happiness is literally in the pursuit of happiness happy we find happiness in the pursuit of our dreams we find happiness in the pursuit of our purpose and the pursuit of what we’re supposed to be doing here in the pursuit of our our best self happiness is always found in the pursuit not at the end right and now here’s the number one best thing to get you through trials to get you through everything in life is just show up just show up if nothing else is working if if you feel like you know whatever your feelings are through this trial whatever your feelings are um that are going on if you just show up even just going through the motions until you have that that point until the miracle happens until you get through this just show up because you never know what’s going to happen you really never know what’s going to happen when you just show up and you do the motions you know i showed up for months to 12-step meetings months where i had to raise my hand every single meeting because i had used since last meeting or whatever now the fact that i kept showing up
something ended up happening something ended up happening and i ended up finding recovery which for someone like me is a darn miracle and i know the people on here understand what i’m saying sometimes and if we learned that we just need to show up to find recovery why would we why would we let that go in our recovery sometimes we gotta just show up i love you guys so much uh hey crystal good to see you good to see you just show up amen to that i love you guys so much have an incredible incredible week keep living recovered on purpose
