There is a lot said about relapse in addiction, addiction recovery, and the community that may know much less about the reality than they think from the news and other sources.
Today, we are going to talk about what the relapse rates are (according to different studies), what the warning signs that you or a loved one are headed for relapse, and some of the best methods for preventing relapse in your recovery!
As always on WeekEnd ReCap, we are going to be celebrating recovery time and taking comments live from viewers about their own experiences and knowledge on the topic!
For more information about Recovered On Purpose, to get a free copy of Adam’s book, see the merch store or book a free call with Adam, visit: https://recoveredonpurpose.org
Read The Transcript Below
what’s up family thank you so much for tuning in for this week’s episode of weekend recap right here on the recovered on purpose show today we’re going to be talking about re relapse the reality of relapse and the prevention methods and the warning signs of it love you guys so much keep living recovered on purpose the black represents the darkness from which we came the white represents the light in which we now live and the red represents the passion it takes to live recovered on purpose
hello hello everybody Welcome welcome welcome I am going to be uh sharing this out to some groups right now go ahead and do the same yourself love you guys thanks for showing up and as always drop your clean and sober dates in the comments so we can celebrate those we can celebrate the recovery time share these out to any groups that are uh that need to hear the message about relapse the reality of relapse uh I’ve got some banners and done some studying up on this to uh make sure we have some good content in this in this episode so anybody out there that’s struggling in their recovery or if you don’t even some people don’t even know what relapse actually means because I didn’t know what it meant for so long and found the actual definitions in some studies so excited to talk about it Jeremy good to see you brother good to see you share these out to your groups guys show these out to your groups
and again drop your uh drop your clean and sober dates where you’re coming in from so we can celebrate it’s going good Jeremy good to see you brother today is day one for me let’s go day one celebration lights for day one Shireen good to see you welcome welcome welcome we’re gonna be talking about uh relapse you know in different ways that we can avoid relapse relapse prevention uh warning signs of it in your loved ones and in yourself so stick around stick around eight months today let’s go brother let’s go we got the celebration for eight months Jeremy congratulations love you brother love you so much man I I love that you’re always in here I love the uh the the mood that you bring in the vibe they bring in with everybody the love that you that you shared everybody man so I’m honored to have you in this group brother lights lights lights lights they’re there for you brother congratulations congratulations anybody that’s just popping in uh we do the celebration lights on the weekend recap anybody that’s celebrating clean time recovery time just drop your drop your sober dates in the comments and we got Shireen here for day one coming in from Farmington New Mexico good to see you relapse is a lack of recovery in my eyes I hear you I hear you Pam we’re gonna be going over all this tonight and I’ve got a lot to cover so guys keep keep dropping the comments in because I’m gonna come back to the comments during the show uh to talk about you know what you think about this the ideas that I bring up um if you have experience in these things if you have different ideas make sure that you’re dropping them in so that everybody in the community is uh is hearing what you know about this okay this is the best family Network for me love you brother love you so much so first we’re going to talk about what exactly is relapse and what does it mean so for a long time uh I was called a chronic relapser but the difference between a chronic relapser and someone that can’t get clean I I haven’t actually relapsed and I can actually uh show this on different different forums and different uh you know medical definitions of relapse it basically a relapse is somebody that has been clean and sober for at least 30 days and then goes back to using someone that can’t get those 30 days together someone that can’t you know find that abstinence for 30 days they’re not relapsing they can’t get clean that was me for years and years and years I was like I was trying in the rooms in the 12-step rooms for you know 79 years I actually was in my first meeting when I was 18 years old and I wasn’t able to get sober until I was 28 and there’s some reasons why I didn’t do the steps this is my first time doing the steps and I haven’t used since and I remember the day that I got 30 days and I and I picked up my key tab picked up my chip and I was so excited I was like crying because I I felt like I had arrived it was like this this weight had been lifted off of me I finally got 30 days and I don’t ever want to go back and that’s what a relapse is a relapse is when you’ve actually gotten the 30 days because that’s a huge milestone that’s a huge milestone that’s when a lot of the cravings for for most drugs and alcohol the Cravings are done within the first 30 days because the Cravings actually come from a physical allergy when we have the drugs and the alcohol in our system the Cravings are it’s a phenomenon where we need more and we need more and we need more when they’re still in our system but once they’re out of our system like Pam was talking about relapse is a lack of recovery that means that we’re not doing something that got us those 30 days we’re not doing something to progress in our recovery we’re not doing the work to keep going so we’re finding ourselves in a place where we’re constantly thinking about drugs and that’s the obsession that’s the difference between a craving and a an obsession an obsession comes after the Cravings are done when the drugs and alcohol are out of our system and we start thinking about it and we can’t stop thinking about it we can’t stay stopped right so there’s work that has to be done in order to stay stopped and a relapse only happens after 30 days so don’t beat yourself up if you I know we have someone in here for their for Shireen for her first day and they thing is there’s work to do now there’s work to do now I don’t know how many first days I I’ve had in my life I’ve had a lot of them and I can tell you the difference between the first day of this time of recovery and I’m coming up on on five years now oh my gosh coming up on five years now the difference this time was I actually did the work I did the work that it took to to get clean and sober for many of us that’s going to be 12 steps for some of us it’s going to be treatment for some of us it’s going to be church or medically assisted treatment if you’re if you’re an opiate addict there’s Suboxone and things like that and in these processes whatever one you take for your journey of recovery you got to go all in do whatever it takes do whatever it takes to recover and it’s not something none of us can do this like half in we can’t go half into our recovery thinking that we’re gonna get it with osmosis the people around us are just gonna get us clean right we have work to do in order to recover anyone out there that’s that’s trying to get sober right now there’s work to do and I used to think you know I used to want somebody to show up somebody to show up that was going to be the one that got me sober and it didn’t happen for years and years and years I was sponsored by you know big people very very well-known professional people that couldn’t get me sober and I was I was putting all this weight on them expecting them to get me sober but in reality when I actually found recovery it came down to me and God me trusting God and doing the work that it took to get sober and doing it hard I’m getting ready to pick up a couple of friends and take them to a 5 30 PM meeting at the Milano Club I’m sharing you out love you Pam always good to see you enjoy the meeting congrats everyone on all your sobriety time you’re amazing you should be very proud keep it up always yes got my sponsor today as well awesome Jeremy nolene I relapsed after 10 years and couldn’t get get it out of it for another 13 years it only gets worse and worse thank you for sharing that um and this is and keep sharing in this conversation only if things pop up in this that you recognize in yourself when you were going towards the the relapse we’re going to get in that in the show relapse doesn’t happen you know one moment and then you’re using that’s not how relapse happens no studies show that it just automatically happens like that when we’re when we’re in recovery we have a certain amount of time it it starts to gradually happen and we’re going to talk about those stages in a second so Andrew g1421 relapsed after seven years and took me almost 30 years to get back love you Andrew glad you’re here brother and thank you for sharing your story it’s uh you know I I’m coming up on five years personally I have this I have this attitude that I’m never going to relapse I’m never going to I’m not going to go back I’m not going to go back to that life I have a really solid you know first step experience where I was completely hopeless There Was You know I know that I know that I can’t use drugs I know that I can’t drink that it doesn’t work for me and I never want to go back there but it’s stories like yours Andrew that that help me to solidify that to really know that I don’t want to go back how can someone stay clean if there are not ready for treatment or is it necessary for a person to go to treatment Tina I personally did not go to treatment um the person has to want to get clean though they have to want to recover I can tell you at the end I was at a point where I was trying to get into treatment my probation officer was trying to get me into treatment and they wouldn’t accept me I I didn’t I I didn’t have the right insurance I didn’t have the money and then the state I was in in Montana because I wasn’t a permanent resident the Medicaid Program wouldn’t pay for treatment so I was I was out of luck I was out of options but the person it’s up to the person it’s up to the person to want to get clean and if they have the opportunity to go to treatment and they’re not ready for it I would question why I would question why that is and maybe Tina that person might need some kind of conversation with someone that knows like an intervention like someone that someone that really knows the opportunity that’s sitting in front of them with treatment I had no God in my life I see that now relied on people not God Amen I’ve been sober for a year and six months as of 20th still looking for a sponsor let’s go let’s go Laurie coming in with a year and six months congratulations the big deal 18 months is a really big deal really big deal all right hopping back into the banners so what are the relapse rates a lot of us have different you know ideas about this from our own experiences in recovery from the rooms from seeing people go out and stuff and none of us really have a a positive way to tell you the relapse rates are great they’re not great relapse rates are extremely high for people that go to long-term treatment that means at least 30 days of treatment 40 to 60 percent relapse within the first 30 days of leaving treatment and 85 percent relapse within the first year and that’s for alcohol cocaine benzodiazepines opiates meth crack everything so all of that wrapped into one and now we don’t tell you this and especially people in people in recovery we don’t talk about the relapse rates like we’re telling you it’s not possible we’re telling you that the relapse rates are directly correlated with the people that do the work the people that are unwilling to actually put in the work that don’t take it seriously that don’t think that you know they’re they’re fighting for their life you know those are the people that will continually relapse that will never that will never really get clean and sober and it’s it’s a really painful thing for us that have found recovery to continue to watch because we have found this freedom on the other side of addiction in recovery and we want people to experience it so bad we’re trying to tell you like do the work it’s so worth it it’s so worth it but the relapse rates are are very high very high and anyone out there that is in early recovery or if you if you’re under a year right now you got to get to the year whatever it takes to get to that year and then just keep going right wherever you’re at in early recovery whatever’s gotten you to this point the daily habits that you have and everything make sure that you have those set you have them set that solid foundation your your house is being built on on Stone on a solid foundation rather than sand because if we are just you know walking through life and moving left and right through life and just letting it come at us and everything without a solid habitual life our relapse is very likely it’s very likely and in our early recovery we have to be adding things into our life that our daily habits daily habits that keep us connected spiritually that keep us connected to a community to family to whoever it is that supports us and make sure that we are building that foundation in our early recovery to take us to that year mark then when we hit that year mark all that stuff that got us there all the stuff that got us there we have to continue practicing and that’s when we can start adding new stuff into our life the first year we have to focus on recovery we have to focus so the three signs and the three um stages of relapse like I was saying earlier relapse doesn’t happen just like willy-nilly one time I’m not using and then the next minute oh my gosh there’s a needle in my arm that doesn’t happen it really doesn’t happen and there’s three stages of this and each one of these has warning signs within it so we’re going to talk about those I’m going to hop into the comments real quick
great job Lori keep up the amazing work lately they’ve been really bad the relapse rates yet this person overdosed thank God there was naloxone amen he’s been clean for a month I try to encourage him tell him how lucky he is to be alive this God given him a second chance and also thank you for replying of course Tina and if you want to you know there’s a lot of people in this community that are more than willing to talk to that person and me being one of them if you want to send me a message on the page feel feel free to I’m always open um and if he’s got a month clean that means he’s already beaten 40 to 60 percent of people in recovery now I don’t know I don’t know what it is about someone if he’s already got 30 days they they don’t need treatment I’m not saying that it wouldn’t help because treatment is always you know a good thing for someone that’s ready to go willing to go and will do the work while they’re in there but there’s so many resources now for addicts that are outside of treatment that if he’s got 30 days now it’s time to build a foundation build a life build build habits build community and things around recovery and make sure that we are completely cutting out like no if ands or buts about it don’t even have their phone number they’re blocked and then we delete their phone number anyone that we used with any drug dealers anything like that we have to build the life on the other side of addiction as we’re in our recovery we need more awareness for our youth as well I’m bringing this message to everyone I can amen Jeremy I’m doing a college speaking tour um got somebody that’s booking them for me right now and it’s true we that’s what we’re called to do yes we need to be helping addicts that are still struggling and because the relapse rates are so high we have to be stopping kids from becoming addicts as well that’s our job it’s literally our job good to see you Jennifer good to see you all right the three signs and the stages of a gradual relapse first sign is going to be emotional relapse warning signs for emotional relapse are going to include things like you know seclusion isolation when we stop going to you know if we if we were building our life by going to meetings by having a sponsor by you know whatever we were doing that was keeping us connected to people when we stop doing those things that’s a warning sign of emotional relapse if we notice someone that was excited about recovery that was excited about life and then all of a sudden there all of a sudden you see them like hanging their head while they’re walking and you know they’re sad and things like that or if this is you if you’re noticing that your emotional state is not in a good place if you’re not feeling that happiness you’re not feeling that Joy you’re not excited to be to be recovered um if you’re not having those good emotional states every single day if you’re noticing yourself depressed stressed anxious these kinds of feelings these kinds of emotions it’s time to start taking some action we have to get back to the habits that got us to those first 30 days so that first year and get back to the basics get back to the basics of recovery emotional well-being is one of the number one it is number one of the three uh warning signs and three stages of a relapse but if we’re not in control of our emotions and we’re not noticing good emotions we’re we’re in the first stage of relapse so if this is you if you’re in recovery and you’re noticing yourself sad mad stressed anxious depressed these kinds of things that are happening it’s time to get into your Journal talk to your sponsor talk to your community talk to your support system and let them know how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way that’s how you get out of the emotional relapse you have to start opening up about what’s going on and how you feel we can’t be secluding and isolating and keeping these things away and thinking oh no one cares and stuff like that because we do but we can’t help if we don’t know the people that support you the people that love you the people that are there for you they’re not going to be able to just you know say oh are you are you emotionally well today are you doing emotionally well today some support systems are great like that you know many aren’t I don’t have one that just like checks on my emotional well-being every day I have to open up I actually did this two days ago in a men’s group I got on and I just like really opened up about things that were going on feelings that I was having different emotions that I was feeling and stuff because I needed to get them out I wasn’t in a place where it was like an emotional relapse but things were happening that were causing emotions in me that I needed to talk about so number one be open be open and honest in your recovery no matter how long you have in your recovery you have to keep your emotional being well you have to keep it well okay pop them back in the comments anybody that’s talking about the uh talking about the emotions it’s exactly what I told them to do block all these people thank you again of course Tina and uh the thing is and I’m gonna I’m gonna shoot you straight um and I and I’m saying this assuming that you’re not an addict okay and a really a really powerful thing for an addict is to be talk to by another addict someone that’s in recovery someone that has some significant recovery time that can give them the advice like this and this isn’t saying anything about you it’s not saying anything about his love for you or or your power and saying and being their form and everything like that a really good tool for you would be to find someone that’s in recovery that can talk to him as well reach out to someone that you know that’s in long-term recovery have a conversation with them let them know what’s going on let them know how the conversations are going with him and then make a request hey can you talk to him you know can you talk to him about these things and just like if he’s open to it will you have a conversation with him because an addict that has recovered can really connect with an addict that is in early recovery or still struggling in a different way and a lot of times an addict knows what they need to do especially with blocking people and cutting people out and stuff like that like it we know we need to do that but sometimes it needs to come from like inside we have to make that decision that we are ready to do that so I really highly recommend getting in touch with some people in recovery and utilizing our community we have a huge community of people in recovery something like 30 of the United States do not drink or use drugs and it’s weird because a lot of us addicts that we’re in our addiction we thought everybody uses everybody drinks and all that but studies show that 30 percent of Americans don’t drink alcohol don’t use drugs and a lot of them you know are in recovery and that’s why most of them are in recovery and that’s why some of them just you know grew up great without ever having to you know be exposed close-minded yes all the time okay so number two of the three signs of gradual relapse is mental relapse warning signs this is the most dangerous place to be in recovery if you are in recovery and your mind is starting to go to places like you know remembering what it feels like to use or if you start thinking about how you could possibly use without people knowing or how could I maybe I could control it this time you know maybe maybe I’ll just go out and have a few beers what would happen you know when you start like fantasizing in your head like what would happen if I just had a few beers this Saturday you know if you’re the mental relapse is the thought of possibly using or drinking that is a very very very dangerous place to be and it needs to be nipped in the butt immediately if you’re watching this you’re in recovery and you’re experiencing mental relapse warning signs where you’re thinking about drinking or using rationalizing it thinking about ways you could do it thinking about how it feels or anything like that it’s time to cut that out right now and the only way to cut that out is by taking some actions we’re going to talk about them in a few minutes but one of those actions number one is you gotta open up same as same as the emotional warning signs you have to open up to your community to your support system and let them know how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking there is no shame there is no shame in talking to people about where you’re at in your recovery it’s the only way that we’re going to be able to continue for long term for permanent recovery and it’s the only way that you’re going to be able to get out of this state and not go to the next one and the next one is physical relapse physical relapse is I I don’t know exactly how it feels there’s some people on the show right now that are uh that have experience in this but some studies and some you know different different doctors say different things about relapse and one of the things that I read is that there’s something called the lapse in something called a relapse and the difference being a lapse is when you’ve had significant recovery time and you use once for less than 24 hours and then you’re just like I can’t do it I’m not going back there I decided I’m not going back there that kind of thing and that’s what and a lot of people that I’ve talked to that have relapsed they regretted it immediately as soon as they put it in their body because I I’ll study people like if they relapse I’m like what did it feel like how long was it until it just sucked you know how long was it that you were able to enjoy that high and no one no one that I talked to and I got I made them get honest with me I made them get real honest with me like how long did you enjoy the high how long did you enjoy the drinking or whatever it was that they did and no one not one of them enjoyed it for longer than 10 minutes not one so but in that case you know some people will continue using anywhere they’re like oh well I already laughed so I might as well just you know go right back into the way that I used to be in a relapse is when you actually are back to uncontrolled drinking and using when you’re when you’re not able to say I’m just having a beer when you’re not able to say um I’m just gonna smoke a little crack you know and for someone like me I am I am very very very you know I’m 99.9 sure that if I was to take one sip of alcohol that I would immediately go into relapse I don’t I don’t know if my I don’t believe that my body has in my mind my body and my mind together I don’t believe that they have the capability of having something go inside of it that alters my mind that won’t cause me to keep going I don’t think that’s possible for someone like me so if you’re in if you’re in recovery remember that remember that just one can take us all the way back to where we used to be that horrible horrible place okay so now we’re gonna be talking about tricks and tools for relapse prevention uh different warning signs again we’ve been we’ve been going over the warning signs and these tricks and tools you can use them for yourself and you can you know share them with your loved one if you have a loved one that is struggling in their recovery or if they’re doing great in their recovery ask them if they’re doing this you know ask them if they if they’ve tried this these are just tips and tricks to keep recovery in the front of your mind as well as progressing in your life in recovery so you’re living happy you’re living joyful okay and guys I did create a a worksheet for this where it’ll be available on the on the recovery on purpose website within the next week I’m just getting it beautified up I try my best to do graphic design but I’m not that great at it and I like to make really good things for you guys so I have a graphic artist making the the worksheet available downloadable you can do it and everything it’ll have all this worksheet all this you know all these steps to do right there on the worksheet for you so one question you want to ask yourself and take some time if you’re if you’re in a state of emotional relapse or mental relapse take some time to sit down with yourself and a journal and God and ask yourself some questions okay find out what’s going on and you want to remind yourself why did you want to get clean in the first place what was going on in your life if you’re considering using drugs again if you’re considering drinking again before you take that step okay ask yourself why you got clean and sober in the first place what was actually going on take as much time and as much space in your Journal as you need to to write about your life before recovery when you were addicted the the horrors of it a lot of us experienced you know traumas a lot of us experienced loss friends family we we lost loved ones we lost friends to overdose these kinds of things while we were in our addiction and you know the pain of you know for me not being able to find a vein you know those kinds of things were just so horrifying and traumatic all the time I never want to go back there and if I’m in a state if I ever get to a mental state of relapse I don’t think that I could I don’t I don’t see myself ever going there but if I ever do I’m going to be reminding myself immediately I’m gonna be talking to everybody around me my entire Community my entire support system and say hey this is what’s going on I’m I’m thinking like this I’m feeling like this and then I’m I’m going to sit down with my journal and God I’m going to find out why I’m going to find out why I got clean in the first place then the next thing is what are your reasons to stay sober what are the reasons that you want to stay sober is it because you have kids that you that you want to that you want them to see you clean and sober for the rest of your life right do you have a family that’s super proud of you for finding recovery that you don’t want to let down do you have a job you don’t want to lose do you you know do you not want to go back to that suffering state do you want to do something with your life over the next couple years that you don’t want to lose the opportunity to do and what are your reasons to say sober sit down write it out write it out what are your reasons and this isn’t just like you don’t have to be an emotional relapse or in mental relapse to do this exercise this exercise is powerful writing down what are my reasons to stay clean and sober this is actually something you could even post up on your wall post up you know on your mirror whatever you want and just to remind yourself like I’m clean and sober for a reason I’m doing this for a reason I don’t want to go back for a reason so let’s keep going with that okay um you know hop in the comments real quick
he’s very closed about this I will say almost stubborn he says he can do this on his own it’s frustrating because he about died in my arms I don’t want to lose him maybe that’s selfish not Tina you’re not acting selfish at all you’re not acting selfish at all you’re actually acting very selfless and Us in this community we love you we love people like you we love loved ones like you that truly truly care it means a lot to us some of us didn’t have someone like you when we were in our addiction or in our early recovery a lot of us didn’t have that that one person that really cared right so keep doing what you’re doing keep reaching out find some people feel free to message my page so we can have a real conversation about it and what’s going on maybe maybe someone can get through to him you know I don’t see very many people I’m not saying it never happens but it rarely happens where I see someone that finds recovery stays clean and sober for you know permanent recovery or even you know six months or A Year Without a community some kind of community it doesn’t have to be 12-step fellowships they’re the best thing I’ve found that has a a community everywhere I go on the in the entire world there’s somebody there’s a group there’s a community that I can go into knowing I’m welcome knowing that you know I relate to these people at least on one thing in my life so I don’t know anybody really that finds recovery without community so it’s rare realizing that these emotions are only thoughts at this stage tell someone as soon as you can yes write about your feelings go to anyone in your support network if you think you don’t have a network come to us amen that’s exactly what I’m talking about exactly what I’m talking about love you Mom hey Adam my mom’s watching her name is Vicky what’s up Vicky good to see you love your son thank you for making him he’s an amazing amazing human ones to many a hundred is Never Enough yes exactly exactly love you too love watching and listening to Adam Vicki thanks so much for being here love you love you so much what’s up opal good to see you good to see you to regain your life back for your loved ones make a new positive life do the rest of your lives amen amen guys we’re going to take a quick 30 second break when we come back I’m actually going to give you some very simple steps to set goals to prevent a relapse from coming love you guys and we will be right back what’s up recovered on purpose family I hope you’re enjoying this episode as much as I do when I’m making them guys if you’re getting any value from this if you’re seeing any golden nuggets that you want to share with your community make sure that you are you’re sharing it with your groups you’re sharing it with your personal page or your pages order that one person that you’re thinking of right now and their Messengers so that they get this message and guys the brand new recovered on purpose website is up and it has a whole bunch of different merchandise and resources and the free calls with me so make sure you’re checking out recovered on purpose.com after the show and if you are a loved one of an addict if you have a kid that’s suffering an addiction I’m now doing free calls that we can strategize and find out how we can get them clean and keep them clean love you guys so much and enjoy the rest of the show all right amen guys that’s what recovery is about I love I love what I do I love helping people I’m looking for more and more ways to do it and each one of us in this community that has recovery we’re called to do it we are called to help people so after the what are your reasons to stay sober a really good exercise that I found if I then I okay and what you do with this and this will be in the worksheet it’s in the worksheet and it’s just being graphically designed for y’all right now and if you’re watching this after September 23rd of 2022 if you’re watching this after go to recovered on purpose.com forward slash relapse prevention and go ahead and get the free download of the uh of the worksheet so if I then I exercise we’re going to put if I relapse at the top of a page over here on the left then I and then you’re going to write everything that would happen if you relapsed and you’re going to go deep you’re going to think of every single thing that you can possibly think of if you were to relapse okay and that can be anything you can say you know I will feel high I will escape the emotions that I’m feeling right now but then you also got to talk about I will disappoint my mom I will disappoint my sister I will lose my job I will you know be uncontrolled I won’t be able to I won’t be able to know where I’m going the next day you know and write down if I relapse then I blank and just write as much as you can possibly think of because each one of us had a different experience in addiction for me I I had a I had a pretty low low a pretty low bottom I was homeless I was 86 from a homeless shelter I was unable to stop using I was on felony probation for for drug possession found dead behind the wheel of a car all that stuff and if I was to relapse I believe that it would be even worse than that that’s why I’m so solid on like I don’t want to drink or use I just don’t want that in my life I’m not willing to bring it into my life ever again and I’m willing to do whatever it takes not to so when you do the if I relapse then I exercise now write if I and then write some things down that you could add into your life if I work out three days a week if I exercise three days a week then I will feel better about my body will uh lower Stress and Anxiety will increase my health will you know and then right if I you know exercise three times a day and then then I blank and just write as many things as possible if I start reading 10 pages a day then I blank if I start this non-profit I’ve always wanted to start then I blank if I get my certificate for addictions counseling then I blank and write some things you know if I was to do this then I would get this this is a really cool exercise because you really get clear on you know because all of us have things that we want to do we all have things that we want to add into our life will really be able to get clear on if we were to add these things into our life what would happen What would be the positive impact in our life and the lives around us if we were to do this thing this thing that we know we want to do this thing that would be good for us this thing that you know this fun thing even right and then the next thing we’re going to talk about I’m going to go into the comments great family amen amen thank you and thank you for helping somebody love you Vicky replay crew today Aaron love you brother thanks for coming in man it must be I don’t even know what time it is there in Australia must be super early or super late one of the two thanks for coming in brother okay after if I then I and this is for anyone this is for anyone if you’re in early recovery if you are an addict and you’re trying to get clean or if you’re in long-term recovery the top five top five is a really good list to have okay and I’m going to give you the top five top five to make and make this list there’s nothing wrong this won’t take you very long it’ll take you a few minutes so if you have a journal if you have your phone in front of you or anything make notes of these top five top five lists so you can make them out there yourself and then if you’re watching this again if you’re watching this uh September 23rd 2022 or after go to recoveredonpurpose.com forward slash relapse prevention download the free worksheet and all this is right there for you so number one make a list of your top five supporters you know you can always reach out to if you’re struggling so for Jeremy I’m sure that’s going to be Vicky mama mama bear and you know write their name and phone number and actually write it down don’t just think about it but write down your top five supporters this can be family can be sponsor it can be an old teacher you had someone that like you know if you reached out to them and you were struggling they would take the time to talk to you they would talk to you it’s a really good list to have and a really good thing to have awareness of having so you know who to reach out to when you’re struggling you just you just know you have this and if you’re out there in addiction and you don’t have you know you don’t think that you have five people that support you you know get into the rooms get into communities like this start reaching out start finding people and don’t ever don’t ever be ashamed or afraid to say hey I’m making a list of five people I can reach out to when I’m struggling I really want to get clean and sober I really want to do this thing and I heard that it would help me to have a list of five people I can always reach out to how would you feel about being on that list and if I called you would you answer for me you know super simple I would be you know it’s an honor to be on that list it’s an honor because also if that person is in recovery the the five people that support you if if some of them are in recovery you never know when you calling them is actually saving their life right there in that moment someone in recovery could be struggling with something they’re you know their dog died their mom died their their their brother passed away something crazy could be going on in their life in that moment and you call them for help them getting out of themselves and helping you actually helps them in that moment so don’t ever be afraid to reach out to people in recovery because we need you worse than you need us or just as bad it works it works it’s really cool Paradox it’s really cool spiritual Paradox we need each other it’s how it works next list make a list of five simple things you could do any day to serve someone else make this list things that you like to do you know this could be as simple as you know call an addict in her early recovery smile at people as I’m walking today smile at everyone I walk by today um call my mom you know these these different acts of service maybe you know find someone on the streets that is that’s struggling a homeless person on the streets I was one of them find someone and go have a conversation with them you know write down five things that you know you could do any day if you chose to and write them on a list so you can go to this list if you’re in the state of emotional relapse or or mental relapse even go to this list and go out and do one of them today go out and literally look for a way to do one of these acts of service today and even if you’re in recovery you’re feeling great all your emotions are good you’re not mentally in relapse or anything like that this is a really good exercise having this this list of five and finding a way that you can be of service every single day and getting into a habit of living for other people living to help other people it keeps your mind right it keeps you out of yourself it keeps you focused on how can I show up today and help God help people that’s the whole point of what we’re doing in recovery our whole mission in recovery is to make ourselves of Maximum usefulness to God and our fellows and our fellows are people that our fellows are fellows they’re people any people it doesn’t have to be we don’t have to always be serving addicts in order to be serving God and people okay it’s really good to have things in your list that are specific to help addicts because we love our addicts us addicts in recovery love to help addicts so have one of them maybe be something for someone that’s not an addict you know and then have a bunch B things you can do for addicts and this is a really good list to have make sure it’s on it’s on hand or just memorize it and then think about it maybe pick one a day if you had one thing a day that you focused on you know today I’m gonna make sure to smile at everybody that walks by me that’s if you are focusing on if you’re thinking about today I’m smiling at everybody that walks by me you’re going to be thinking about that while you’re walking by people instead of thinking about I’m sad I’m anxious I’m stressed I have all these things going on nah you’re going to be looking for people to smile at it’s a really good exercise and if you’re looking for you know if your thing for the day is uh find someone that is homeless that is struggling and have a conversation with them then when you’re walking around you’re not going to be focused on stress anxiety depression and all that kind of stuff and be focused on okay where is somebody that I can have a conversation with that I can serve where is somebody out here your mind is going to be fixated on somebody else the entire day because you’re going to be thinking about this act of service that you need to do today you chose to do this today third list make a list of five daily habits you did in order to get sober in the first place now for me this was go to a meeting it was call my sponsor um I did when I woke up I always made my bed I did these exercise routines when I woke up I would do uh you know 20 jumping jacks uh 30 push-ups wide mid and narrow then I would do 20 sit-ups and these things these small little habits I did them every single day in my early recovery and I made sure to start building that Foundation that habitual Foundation of of a good life something that I am doing to work on myself every single day spiritual Fitness reading my Bible journaling these things are I’ve progressed into different daily habits that help me keep in this fit spiritual condition and and I know that if I’m getting in a place where I’m emotionally sick or spiritually sick and I feel this going on I know where to go back to I know the habits that have me in a place where I’m spiritually fit I know them so if I’m feeling a certain way that means I’m not doing a certain thing that means I’m missing something that I used to do that kept me spiritually fit so go back to early recovery go back to where you were in those first 90 days those things that you were doing every single day to make sure that you were in recovery to make sure that you were abstaining to make sure that you were progressing towards someone that was going to be able to get clean and sober and stay clean and sober and go back to the basics if you need to go back to the basics if you’re in long-term recovery and you’re in emotional relapse or if you’re in mental relapse go back to the basics just do it you already know that it works get yourself back in that fit spiritual condition and move on let’s go okay hop back in the comments
Jeremy hopping in with this activity you could honestly shed some light on topics that can really help your recovery amen exactly top five Staying Alive yeah facts amen Crystal good to see you I love you guys I’m at work but had to drop some love I’m super excited guys uh crystal is going to be launching her book on October 2nd I’ve been working with her been you know we’ve been going through the whole process she’s already finished the book and everything it’s with the editor I wrote the forward for it and I’m sure that she’s really close to having the final the final uh product for the for the uh cover of the book and man it’s gonna be awesome we haven’t we haven’t published a recovered on purpose book in like two years and she’s just doing the speaking course we decided that it was time to write a book it’s time to write a book and in like three weeks she was done boom super excited about it um all right fourth of the top five top five make a list of five things you can or want to add to your life that you could do that you could now that you are in recovery so these things okay the list of five things that you want to add to your life or you could add to your life that you know would progress you in your life make a list of five of them and this is kind of similar to the if I then I exercise earlier of the positive part of it right if I relapse then I lose all this stuff but if I did this then this would happen so write five things down write a list of five things that you’re not currently doing that if you did would add something to your life whether it be health or whether it be you know knowledge or service something that you could do to add to your life that you’ve wanted to do but you just haven’t taken the steps towards yet you know maybe it’s I want to read 10 pages a day maybe it’s I want to meditate 10 pages a day or 10 minutes a day maybe it’s I want to pray every morning and every night without fail you know and write these five things down that you could add to your life and you actually want to that doesn’t mean you’re actually going to do all five of them right now you don’t have to overwhelm yourself with all this stuff you have to add into your life right now but making this list and becoming aware of the things that you actually want to add into your life is going to be really really good for you to continue to progress in your recovery because then once you have them you’re aware of them go ahead and do the if I then I exercise with it if I read 10 pages a day then I am reading more than 92 percent of the people on the planet if I read 10 pages a day for five years on one topic I will be an expert expert Beyond experts in that topic just by reading 10 pages a day if I then I try this out make a list of five things you do want to add to your life not necessarily going to right now and do the if I then I see if see if one of them pops out that you want to add in right now number five top five top five number five list make a list of your five favorite hobbies or activities that bring you happiness and joy so some of us in early recovery we didn’t even know what our Hobbies were that we liked we didn’t even know activities that we would like to do and this is something that we want to find in our recovery we want to find things that that bring us joy that bring us happiness that you know that make us feel good maybe it’s exercise maybe it’s a sport you know for me I I found paddle tennis recently if you haven’t seen paddle tennis yet YouTube paddle p-a-d-e-l tennis and watch watch what I’m learning to do I’m nowhere near those guys on YouTube I’m like a level four out of four it’s like the lowest level but I really really love doing it it makes me feel alive it makes me feel good it makes me feel like I’m I’m doing something that I love doing just for me right and write these five Hobbies down maybe your hobby is crocheting I’ve seen multiple people multiple people in recovery that will sit there during a meeting and just crochet you know making these making knits or making uh hats or mitts or or you know sweaters or blankets even and they really enjoy the process of just like focusing and knitting and just knowing they’re creating something and this can be something like you know maybe you like hiking you know maybe you actually like running I hate running I do it because it’s healthy and I know that it’s healthy for me and I hate it so I do it but you know these different things that bring you Joy that bring you happiness that make you feel good after doing them or good while you’re doing them also and what this does is if you are if you’re aware of the five things that really bring you Joy that really bring you happiness the five Hobbies you can start adding them into your schedule like maybe if you’re if you’re in forgive me 12 steppers but if you’re going to a meeting every single day and that makes it so that you can’t have other Hobbies right you work nine to five you get off of work you have to go home and eat really quick get dressed to go to your meeting at seven o’clock you know maybe one day a week you have a hobby that you do every single week maybe you have basketball every Wednesday or something so you miss that one day it’s okay it’s okay to have a hobby that makes you happy that you’re doing for yourself not not in relation to I’m not saying in relation to recovery something completely outside of recovery that you love to do that you know is just it just brings you happiness just makes you feel alive I love team sports I love team sports so I do them
all right comments great job amen why are some people drawn to people still using when they’re just few weeks clean themselves any answers why are some people drawn to people still using when they’re just a few weeks clean themselves Jackie what I would say for this um people in early recovery are drawn to people still using because there’s there’s two things number one they they have a they’re still lying to themselves that they can help that person get clean Us in long-term recovery we have learned that it’s not up to us to get someone clean we’ve learned that we can help people by guiding them by showing them what to do but we can’t do it for them in early very very early recovery or even while we’re still in our addiction we have this thought we have this lie that we can bring the people that we use with with us that they’re just gonna we’re just gonna be able to mic them in with us but in reality what happens is their negative habits their negative environment their drug use and everything is much more contagious onto us than our recovery is on to them when we’re in early recovery and that’s number two number two is we could be lying to ourselves saying that we you know we’re making an excuse like oh we’re trying to help them but in reality we are just waiting to start using again and we know that that person has drugs we know that person drinks or whatever so there’s there’s a couple different things someone that is truly ready and truly good to go with recovery is willing to let go of all the connections that are still using drugs that they can get drugs from they’re willing to block them out they’re willing to cut them out and do their recovery I completely 100 lost all attraction to people that were using drugs to be in my life in my circle outside of Fellowship rooms where I was safe with them um on day one I just didn’t want to be around anybody anymore I was ready to stop and I did it you know I did it so that’s those are the two reasons I can think of um if if you have somebody that you are specifically talking about you know they they need to have a conversation with someone that’s in recovery in long-term recovery so they can become clear on you know it’s not up to you and your likelihood of staying sober if you’re hanging out with people that are using is almost zero almost zero and when I say almost it’s basically zero I haven’t seen it yet but I believe anything is possible it just doesn’t happen it just doesn’t happen Jeremy get back to your art and drawing you’re so talented amen mama possibly that they’re used to being around these people because they can relate to these people and can get them clean which is false yep well said Adam in reference to Jackie’s question yes you too brother all right another exercise a bucket list a bucket list we’ve all heard of what a bucket list is but now that we’re in recovery we actually can make a bucket list that we can achieve we can we can sit down with a journal and write things that we want to do in our life that we’ve always wanted to do you know one one a lot of you have heard me talk about this but one thing that I did in early recovery I had always wanted to go skydiving since I was really young but very early on in my adulthood I lost the ability to because I was way too wrapped up in drugs I was way too wrapped up in using I couldn’t spend that much money on skydiving because you know I needed that money for drugs but I celebrated my six months clean and sober by going skydiving and it was an amazing amazing feeling something I always wanted to do I actually finally did it so write the bucket list down you know places you want to travel things you want to experience um you know activities you want to try write this bucket list down as many as you can think of and then pick one that you’re going to do this year if you’re in early recovery do this right now right now write a bucket list down and pick one of those things that you are going to do this year you’re going to make it happen no matter what it takes okay and it can be something small like skydiving is not that huge of a of a goal or a bucket list item but I can tell you 100 changed my life and in recovery you deserve good things in your life you deserve these things you’ve worked hard for your recovery and you’re worth it you’re worth having the experiences the activities that you’ve always wanted to have in your life so don’t be afraid to do it don’t be afraid to to make it happen in your life do the things that you’ve always wanted to do write the bucket list down pick one do at least one this year and watch yourself watch and celebrate yourself celebrate your recovery it’s an amazing thing being free from the bondage of drugs and alcohol many of us in our addiction were completely chained completely locked to this nothing could happen for our lives nothing positive could happen for our lives while we were addicted and now that we’re in recovery we have to allow ourselves to have these positive experiences to have these things happen in our life we have to be open to them and make them happen because we absolutely deserve it now a hundred percent deserve it you deserve it you deserve your life you deserve your goals you deserve your your bucket list items your experiences that you’ve always wanted to have you’ve earned it go get it now this other exercise this one is a really really good one whether in recovery or not but your life three years from now sit down with a journal and again guys if you are if you’re watching this uh September 23rd 2022 or after go to recoveredonpurpose.com forward slash relapse prevention there’s a free uh worksheet PDF worksheet you can download you can print it you can do it right there on your computer to do all these exercises right there and it lays them out for you makes it super simple we don’t want you guys relapsing we’re sick of losing you we love you so if you’re in your recovery go get the worksheet enjoy it so this one is your life three years from now sit down with a journal sit down with the worksheet and on this I gave you plenty of room get deep about your vision for your life three years from now understand what you want with your life understand how you want to act how you want to feel who you want to have around you the type of work you want to be doing um the kind of car you want to have all this stuff and write it down write it in present tense what you’re going to do is you’re going to Envision yourself you’re going to sit there you’re going to Envision yourself in three years with the ideal life that you want to have and this doesn’t mean like I live in a 22 million dollar home I have a uh you know three wives and 18 children and this kind of stuff that that doesn’t you’re not doing that kind of stuff you’re envisioning the life the ideal life that you see yourself having that would make you happy and that you can get and that doesn’t mean that you know you you know you think of it as not possible right because whatever you see in your mind in that Vision whatever you see yourself living three years from now when you’re sitting there and you’re really thinking about okay if I did everything that I know I need to do and three years from now how would my life look how would I want my life to look and ask yourself how would I feel what would I think who would be around me and then write it in present tense I am uh a certified addictions counselor I treat I have six patients that I that I talk to every single day or six patients that I talk to every single week and write down everything about your work and then I drive a you know Nissan Altima it’s blacked out it has you know a sound system in it has a Bose sound system in it I put LED lights underneath the the uh the dash and just go deep into what your car looks like and write it in the present tense right I have and then I feel I feel excited when I wake up because my work is is so rewarding I feel excited when I wake up because I get to help someone today I feel joyful because um I’m I’m doing this every day I’m or I’m playing basketball every week I feel joyful because I have this going on in my life I feel I feel happy and and progressed and I feel achievement because I did these three things on my bucket list you know last year you can even to write it like in present tense three years from now last year I went to Europe I always wanted to go to Europe and I and then just write out your your whole trip write it out exactly how it went and get as detailed as possible and get that real Vision written out onto paper so that as you’re envisioning it you’re writing it out in reality as if it’s right now and what this does is it will trigger your mind to to really go for that to understand that that’s where your life is going that’s what you’re doing everything for you’re working towards that life and it’ll be so clear you’ll feel those emotions within you right now as if you’re living that life right now and then that’ll make it so that you can make the decisions right now and into the future for the next three years that will take you to that Vision that’s the point of your life in three years from now again guys thank you for being here Jeremy I love you Jackie thank you very much you really helped clarify the situation love you thank you for being in here take action you will succeed amen we do recover you will regain your love and life back it is possible believe you can do it amen beautiful thank you Erica love you thank you for being here yes spending holidays with your family missed that so much episode 53 boom great job love you so much for being here love you Adam thank you love you guys so much enjoy your weekend and I have a really special guest tomorrow morning at uh 10 a.m Central Time Kimberly Clark she is actually a she is a certified recovered on purpose recovery speaker now she went through the whole course she’s a published author and she’s coming on the show she’s going to tell her story you guys will love her love you guys keep living recovered on purpose